The eyes have it
by scarface101
Summary: Naruto Uzumaki. Expert of Spirits. And Shinobi. What would happen if Naruto had a few tricks up his sleeve, courtesy of his 'Boss? FInd out here. Replacement of 'Left Hand of the Shinogami.' Naruto x Harem. Warning: Some bashing and occasionally implied lemons. (Full lemons under consideration.)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: It is my sad duty to announce my oldest and probably most asked about Fanfiction, Left Hand of the Shinigami, is now DEAD. That's right. Dead. Deceased, six feet under, kaput. I have zero inspiration forit nor do I see it going anywhere anymore especially since it was just power up after power up with no real development. I am sorry to disappoint you, but that's how it is.**

 **I hope you enjoy this fic and leave lots of reviews.**

 **Chapter one: Enter Naruto Uzumaki.**

It was a quiet day in Konoha, the Civilians and Shinobi across the village went about their daily lives as normal. In the Academy one Naruto Uzumaki was waiting for his Sensei, along with his other… teammates Sakura and Sasuke. Two individuals who proved that they had no value as human beings.

But they weren't his concern as of this moment, for you see, Naruto had a gift. He was able to see the Spirits of those whom have passed away. That's right. He can see the dead. When he first gained this ability it proved… overwhelming. Like he was gazing through a spyglass which showed him things he could never have perceived before.

The spirits rarely ever interacted with him. Spirits were slow to trust strangers, especially those of the living, regardless if they could see or not. Most Spirits went about their own business, though a select few became friends with the boy.

Naruto often saw a red haired female Spirit stalking him, she never spoke to him other than a friendly wave. She always kept her distance but usually stayed within sight, as though she were watching him. Another spirit was the ghost of Mikoto Uchiha, the mother of Sasuke whom was often infuriated by Sasuke's disregard for others, his ego, and his arrogance.

Today, Mikoto wasn't around… but there was one Spirit that was sitting next to the blonde. She had these purple markings on her cheeks. She would glance at him, then look away. As though she wondered if he could actually see her.

"I can see you." The blonde whispered to her, to avoid gaining the attention of his 'teammates'.

The girl jumped slightly in surprise and spoke to him "Sorry. I couldn't tell if you were looking AT ME. Umm, my name is Rin Nohara. Nice to meet you." She gave him a warm smile as she shifted in her seat.

"Naruto Uzumaki. So what are you doing here? You look like you're waiting for someone" the blonde whispered to her, hoping he might be able to help this girl.

"Oh. You noticed? Well… you're waiting for Kakashi Hatake right? He's… he is my teammate. Or was… while I was still alive." She spoke in a somber tone.

"What's he like?" the blonde asked since he wanted to learn more about his new sensei.

"Well… he was a bit of a loner. But he wasn't a bad person. But… after my death he has been torturing himself. He constantly visits the memorial for fallen Ninjas. His eyes particularly focus on the names of our team. I think right now… he needs some kind of closure." She answered him with a small smile.

"Hmmm. If ya want, I could help you out a bit. If you have something you wanna say, I could relay it to him." He offered since he could tell this girl needed some peace of mind.

"Really? That'd be great! I'll meet up with you later! If I know Kakashi then he'll be taking you to Training ground Seven." She spoke excitedly then phased through the wall and vanished.

"Hmmm. I wonder if she'd make a good Familiar." The blonde mused to himself silently, then in that moment a masked man similar to that of a scarecrow with silver hair walked in. He stared at the three with his visible eye. The Jonin then commented "Well aren't you an interesting bunch? Please meet me on the roof in five minutes." With that said he vanished in a swirl of leaves.

Naruto scratched his chin and shrugged, deciding it wasn't worth the energy to complain about the Jonin's tardiness. The newly formed Team Seven made their way up to the roof where Kakashi was conversing with a small girl. "Ummm… if you don't mind my asking, what're you doing up here?" the Jonin asked in a confused manner.

The girl appeared to be about Ten years old, wearing a black monks cloak with the Kanji for 'Hush' on her back and she wore no footwear. Her hair was black, with a crimson streak along her bangs. Her face was a pale, creamy and smooth like a porcelain doll. Perhaps the most interesting and intimidating feature on her was her burning crimson eyes.

"Hmm? Oh! It's Kesa-chan!" the blonde called out upon recognizing the girl. He jogged up to her and gave her a hug followed by a kiss on both of her cheeks.

"You… know this girl?" asked the Jonin with his lone eye widening.

The blonde shrugged and answered "Yep. This is Shizukesa. I sometimes do jobs for her every now and again. She doesn't talk because she has a scary voice."

"A… scary voice?" Kakashi asked, wondering if the blonde was being serious.

"Yep. Whenever she talks, people become deathly afraid of her. I'm not sure why. She has such a soft voice. Like a little bell." The whiskered teen commented in a casual manner. The red eyed girl merely rolled her eyes for a moment then presented a black leather tome.

The blonde skimmed over the contents for a few moments then spoke "Okay okay Boss. I'll take care of that after I'm through with my team." Shizukesa nodded in understanding and leapt off the roof, vanishing to the streets below.

Ignoring the odd exchange, Kakashi stuffed his hands in his pockets and spoke "Well, that aside, let's begin with a Team Introduction."

"What do you mean by that Sensei?" asked Sakura with a confused expression. This caused both Naruto and Kakashi to sweatdrop and think 'She can't be serious.'

"I think Sensei means something like this. My names Naruto Uzumaki. I like ramen, Kesa-chan, and a few other people that I won't name at this time. I also like spirits, ghosts and such things. I dislike rapists, liars and cheats, people who deliberately ignore their responsibilities, and people who don't respect the dead. My dream is, well, in laymen terms, to be the best I can possibly be." The blonde spoke, giving both an example and an introduction.

'Spirits? Ghosts? What a creep.' Thought the Fangirl in disgust.

'Hmph. Just another loser.' Thought the Uchiha in dismissal.

'Well now… he's much more interesting than I thought.' The masked Jonin thought with some amusement.

Kakashi then cleared his throat and spoke "Very good Naruto-san. My name is Kakashi Hatake. I have a lot of likes and dislikes. And, I haven't really thought about my dreams for the future." At this the Three Genin sweat-dropped since he only revealed his name.

"My name is Sakura Haruno. What I like is… (Blush.) My dreams for the future are… (Fangirl squeal.) And I HATE Naruto!" she yelled at the end while pointing at the blonde. The whiskered teen's only response was to flip the bird.

'Oh great. A fangirl. If nothing else she could be used as bait or a distraction.' The Jonin thought in grim amusement. Though he also hoped that she would grow up… however it most likely won't happen.

"Hn. My name is Sasuke UCHIHA, remember the name. My only like is power. I dislike too many things to list off. And what I have isn't a dream, for I plan to make it a reality. There's a certain someone… that I'm going to kill." The Uchiha spoke out which was followed by an ominous gust of wind.

'As I thought.' The Jonin mused while his visible eye narrowed.

'Sasuke-kun is sooooo hoooot.' The pinkette thought with hearts in her eyes.

"Oi. Shouldn't you be more focused on rebuilding your clan or something?" the blonde casually asked while cleaning out one of his ears with his pinkie finger.

"What's it to you Dobe? It's not any of your business what I do." The Uchiha snapped angrily.

"Well fuck you too. I was just asking a simple question. What's the point in hunting down the guy you wanna kill, if there's nothing left to go back to? You're dedicating yourself to a path of violence. Why not simply accept there was nothing you could've done, and focus on trying to actually build something for yourself?" Naruto asked in a sage like manner.

'Well I'll be damned. Out of all of them… Naruto seems to be the most mature of the bunch. Guess I shouldn't be surprised since he's THAT woman's child. Realistic yet… something more.' The Jonin thought with an eye smile.

"SCREW YOU DOBE! I LOST EVERYTHING! WHAT RIGHT DO YOU HAVE TO DECIDE WHAT I DO WITH MY LIFE?" The self-proclaimed Elite roared while grabbing the collar of the blondes jumpsuit.

"You lost everything that mattered. I'll give you that. But at least you had something to lose. I never did. I wasn't deciding anything for you. Merely giving some food for thought. And Sasuke? Would you kindly release me? I'm not into the rough stuff with guys." The blonde teased at the end with a shark like grin. A tic-mark pulsed on the Uchiha's forehead as he shoved the Jinchuuriki away.

"It's been fun. But there's something I need to take care of. Do whatever the hell you want with your life Sasuke, I couldn't care less if you get your own ass killed. No skin off my back." The blonde spoke in an amused tone as he walked off.

"One sec Naruto-san. I forgot to mention something. Tomorrow, we will be meeting at Training Ground Seven for your Genin test." Spoke the Jonin with an eye smile.

Naruto snapped his fingers and commented "I should have guessed the Academy was too easy. Lemme guess, this test is meant to see if we can make the cut as real Genin?"

"Very good. Now then, meet me tomorrow morning at Ten o' clock sharp. Oh, and don't eat breakfast or you might puke. See ya!" with that said the Jonin vanished in a swirl of leaves. Naruto smirked since this Jonin seemed to be somewhat reasonable. He sighed and made his way towards his appointment with Kesa-chan, but first he'd need to get some things.

 **Later**.

Hiashi Hyuuga sighed as he sat and listened to the incessant and unintelligible arguments of the Hyuuga Elders. His daughter Hanabi sitting close by, her face a blank expression as she tuned out the noise from the Elders. The Clan head himself finally began to bang a gavel and call for order in this meeting.

At last he had succeeded in getting their attention and spoke "Elders, I know you are angry at last night's incident but we must…"

He was cut off by one of the Elders who shouted "INCIDENT? INCIDENT? SOMEONE LEFT THREATENING MESSAGES FOR US IN OUR ROOMS!"

Before Hiashi could retort, a pair of Side branch members enterer ushering in one Naruto Uzumaki, who was wearing a black trench coat with orange lapels, a black tee shirt with the Kanji for 'Spirit' on the front with a bandolier of throwing knives. On his back was an intimidating scythe that was longer than himself, and it has a long curved blade, looking like it grew out of the skull at the top end of the handle. A miniature skeleton adorns the scythe, which consists of the skull and a rib cage wrapped in thorny vine. The spine of the skeleton turns into the scythes long handle, which ends in a lower backbone. (A/N: Think the Undertaker's scythe from Black Butler.)

"Howdy there!" the blonde greeted in a rather jovial tone of voice.

"What is HE doing here Hiashi?" asked an Elder with a furrowed eyebrow.

"Recently I was contacted by a… interested party who promised an expert in dealing with these recent incidents." Hiashi explained, though in truth he wasn't aware the 'Expert' was Naruto.

The blonde grinned then pulled out a small notebook from his trench coat's pocket and began to read the contents as he spoke "Let's see here, your Side branch members have, for the past week, been making repeated complaints of strange noises. Whispers in the night, scratching sounds, footsteps in the halls but when they check with their Byakugan no one is there. About three days ago there was an 'incident' where Hinata Hyuuga quote 'Inexplicably imploded into a violent fit of rage.'

And most recently, last night in fact, death threats were written in the bed chambers of the Hyuuga Elders. Written in blood." The blonde listed off the happenings of the Compound with a knowing smile.

"Erm. Yes. That's correct. I trust you have an idea as to what's happening?" asked Hiashi with a raised eyebrow.

"I am absolutely certain you have a Spirit here. And it's pretty angry. And now its demanding to be heard. I suggest you start listening before it becomes truly violent." The blonde explained while he began to sharpen one of his throwing knives.

"A ghost? You honestly expect us to believe that drivel?" one of the Elders asked in an incredulous tone.

"I don't expect you to believe anything. Though let me make mention that there are Jutsu and techniques that screw with the boundaries of life and death. You have the Reaper Death seal, which actually summons the Shinigami. Then there's the Edo Tensei which brings out Zombie Shinobi. Sooooo, I don't think the presence of Spirits is THAT much of a stretch." The blonde quipped in a matter of fact tone.

"Indeed. Until evidence proves otherwise, I shall believe these incidents to be the work of a Spirit." Hiashi spoke since he found the blonde to be… surprisingly logical in his approach.

The blonde nodded in thanks then spoke "I shall now take my leave and question Hinata about her outburst from before. She might provide a clue, some important detail she might not have thought of."

The Clan head nodded and spoke "Of course. She is with her team at this time which is lead by Kurenai Yuhi."

"Understood. And I must also request Hanabi-san accompany me for now." The blonde requested in a respectful tone.

At this the Clan head narrowed his eyes and asked in an even tone "Why would you ask that?"

"Out of all the people in this compound, your whole clan even, Hinata-san seems to have reacted the most to the Spirits influence. If my current theory is right then it has a powerful connection to Hinata-san, and perhaps even Hanabi-san." The blonde explained in a direct and simple tone.

The clan head nodded in understanding, if this spirit also had a connection to Hanabi, then it might draw it out. "Very well then. But you are responsible for her as of this moment."

"Appreciate the cooperation. I'll take good care of her. Oh, and before I forget, when the job is done, my manager will collect the payment." The blonde spoke while extending a hand to Hanabi. With a small nod she took his hand and followed him out of the compound.

The walk was relatively silent as they sought out Hinata and her team, though the brown haired girl looked up inquisitively at the blonde. His hand felt warm and she felt like she didn't want to let go. "Naruto-san. If I may ask, why did you become a ghost hunter?"

"Who said I was a ghost hunter? I don't recall specifically answering to that job title." He replied in a cryptic manner.

She narrowed her eyes slightly at his avoiding the question, but then she decided to try something more direct "Why do you do what it is you do involving Spirits and ghosts?"

"Ah. That's a better question. About two years ago a 'certain person' Offered me a deal. In exchange for my loyalty and serving under her, she permitted me to and I quote 'Live however I pleased'. Most of the time my jobs work around dealing with the Spirits that linger here. Still, it's not a bad job. My boss and Manager are both super nice. They gave me a bunch of awesome weapons, and even trained me up some. I could probably take down a Low Level Jonin if I put my mind to it." The blonde answered her with a smile.

She was mildly confused by some of which he said, mostly involving 'Certain person' and the deal he was offered. But chose not to comment on it as she asked "Are you a Medium?"

"A Spirit Medium? Nah. Nothing so fanciful. But my eyes are something special. Here… See as I see." He spoke and placed his palm over her eyes for a moment, A tingling sensation filled her eyes as he lifted his hand away, suddenly her vision was an explosion of colors as she saw Spirits of the dead, or what she Assumed was spirits since they were walking through walls and other people. Believing this to be a Genjutsu, she hastily performed a Kai… but the Spirits didn't leave her vision.

"Pretty disorienting. I know. At first it's like looking through a kaleidoscope for the first few hours. But then your mind begins to process it and your vision shall become normal again… aside from being able to see Ghosts. Now that that's done…" He spoke then snapped his fingers, causing another tingling in the Hyuuga's eyes as the Phantoms vanished from her vision.

"H-how did you do that?" She asked since her mind was reeling in shock by what she had just witnessed.

"Surprised? Well, I just let you see the world as I see it for a few moments. If you want a more permanent set, you might wanna talk to my boss…. Assuming you ever meet her. She's pretty private." The blonde answered with a small smile, leaving his charge dumbstruck as she followed him.

Suddenly a loud yell of 'Yahoo' followed by the barking of a puppy came from close by. Signaling the presence of a certain Dog boy. With a smirk, Naruto took his charge to the Origin of the noise and found Kurenai and her Team sitting under the shade of a tree and getting to know each other.

"Howdy there Nai-chan!" the blonde loudly greeted as he approached with Hanabi.

The Genjutsu mistress blushed a bit then spoke in a light scolding tone "Naruto! I'm on duty! It's either Kurenai-san' or Sensei."

"Oops. My bad Nai-chan." He replied in an apologetic manner… while still speaking to her with such familiarity which made the Red eyed woman shake her head with a sigh.

"Huh? Naruto! What're you doing here? How do you know Sensei… and Why's Hinata's sister with you?" Kiba asked in a rapid fire manner.

"Me? I'm here on Official business and I'm afraid Hanabi-san is part of it. As for how I know Nai-chan… I kidnapped her, locked her in my basement and took advantage of the position she was in." He explained in a Jovial manner. At his explanation, Hanani had a Question mark over her head, Hinata was blushing neon red, Kiba's jaw dropped as he nearly emptied his bladder, Shino's glasses fell askew, and Kurenai looked like a horrified look on her face.

"DON'T TELL THEM WEIRD THINGS LIKE THAT!" She screamed as she attempted the throttle the blonde.

In response the whiskered teen could only laugh and reply "NOT IF THEY'RE TRUE!" A fiery aura exploded from the Genjutsu mistress as she tried even harder to strangle the boy, just to shut him up. Finally she broke down crying while beating the ground with her fist.

"You… you ruined me. You ruined my image as a Jonin sensei to my Team." She cried as she grabbed a fistful of grass. "I hate you. Go die already." She whined brokenly as anime tears fell down her face.

"Love you too Nai-chan. I know you enjoyed it as much as I did." He spoke with a broad smile. Kurenai said nothing as she collapsed to the ground, her soul seemingly leaking from her body. At this point Kiba passed out with a Nosebleed with Akamaru trying to revive him.

"All my teasing aside, Hinata-san, mind if I ask you some questions about your outburst some time ago?" the blojde asked with a charming smile. The Hyuuga heiress nodded in agreement her eyes kept glancing towards her Sensei.

Sensing her thoughts, and noticing where she kept looking Naruto spoke "Relax. Nothing inappropriate happened between me and Nai-chan. Anyway, How did you feel prior to your fit of anger?"

Hinata sighed in relief as her younger sister stood next to her. The Heiress poked over fingers together and spoke "Well… before I was angry… I felt… warm. Like I could soar above the clouds. And I couldn't help but feel like there was a hand on my shoulder, a comforting hand only a parent could use. Then when the Elders talked badly about the Side branch… I just… snapped."

The Jinchuuriki nodded and wrote something in his notebook then spoke "Thanks very much for your time. That's all I need to know."

"Wait… that's it?" asked Hanabi in a confused tone.

"Pretty much. Don't worry about your Spirit. She won't harm you two. Keep an eye or an ear out for any signs of unusual activity then give me a call." He spoke then offered them a business card.

"Umm. Thanks. I'll take Hanabi home. Naruto-kun? You… changed a lot since… well... before." Hinata noted with a small blush.

"Is that so surprising? You wouldn't happen to want a piece of me would you?" he asked teasingly making Hinata blush and squirm a bit under his teasing.

"Relax before you pop a Blood vessel. Anyways, thanks for accompanying me Hanabi-chan. I'll be seeing you two around." With that said he vanished in a pillar of black smoke, leaving two blushing sisters behind.

 **The Next Day.**

"Man. This Hyuuga job is pretty easy and straightforward." Naruto complained as he walked towards Training ground Seven. Holding his hand… was none other than his Manager Shizukesa, her cold unblinking eyes staring ahead.

"Ummm Kesa-chan? You didn't have to come with me." He commented since his Manager was a bit of a workaholic.

"Shut up." Was all she said. For many, her voice sounded soft as a bell, gentle like a dove, but it had a chill to it like that of a stiff breeze in the winter. Naruto was one of the few people that could listen to the girl's voice and not be terrified for life.

"Whatever you say Kesa-chan." He spoke with a small smile. At last they arrived at the designated training ground Seven, where Sasuke, Sakura, and Kakashi were all waiting. The former two looked absolutely furious at the blonde, while Kakashi himself glanced towards Naruto's direction with a narrowed eye.

"You're really late. You kept me waiting for an hour." The masked Jonin spoke in an even tone

"Would you have arrived on time if I did?" the blonde asked casually.

A sweat-drop formed on the Jonin as he realized the blonde's point. "All right. I'll make you a deal. If I come on time, then I expect you to do the same. Deal?" The Jonin offered with an eye smile.

"And every time you're late, you'll teach us all a Jutsu. All in the name of fairness." The blonde countered in a business like manner, earning nods of approval from his teammates which somewhat appeased them. Naruto may hate them, but he wasn't gonna go out of his way to make them miserable… unless they provoked him which he was sure they would.

"Done. We have an accord then. Excellent. Now ummm, why's that girl with you?" asked the Scarecrow with a raised eyebrow.

"Don't worry about it. Kesa-chan is just hear to watch." Naruto answered while patting his Manager on the head. The red eyed girl nodded at his statement and pulled him down by the collar to kiss him on the cheek. With that done she sat on top of one of the three posts, the center one to be exact.

"What the hell was that kiss about? She your girlfriend or something? That's plain creepy! She's like… Six years old!" Sakura yelled out while pointing an accusatory finger at the blonde.

"You sure she's that old?" He quipped with a large smile stretched across his whiskered cheeks. The other members of Team 7 now looking at the girl like she was some kind of alien lifeform.

"Errr. Right. Anyway, your test is relatively straightforward. Your goal is to take these bells from me." The Jonin explained as he held up two silver bells.

"Two Bells. So only two of us passes?" Naruto asked in a suspicious tone. Already perceiving that some kind of trick was involved.

"That's correct. You have two hours to take these bells from me. Kesa-san? Would you mind holding onto this clock for me?" the Jonin asked while presenting a clock. Shizukesa merely nodded and accepted the clock, placing it on her lap.

"Oh, and one more thing. You are free to use any means of retrieving these bells from me, such as Jutsu or Weapons." The Jonin added since he didn't want to leave the Genin without a fighting chance

"But Sensei. You could get hurt if we do that." Sakura commented ignorantly since she was a Fangirl with little understanding of Shinobi beyond her textbooks.

"Kakashi-san is a Jonin. I think he can take as good as he gives." Naruto commented while sharpening a throwing knife.

"Well, I'm glad at least one of you hasn't yet underestimated me. Your time starts now." The Jonin spoke while starting the clock, prompting the three Genin to run and hide amongst the trees and bushes.

It didn't take long for Kakashi to figure out Sakura and Sasuke's hiding places. Naruto however was proving more difficult to locate. Not being able to locate the boy visually, he decided to try using a bit of Chakra sensing.

"Yo." Greeted a voice behind him revealing Naruto himself.

"Hello to you as well. Buuuut shouldn't you be hiding or planning some kind of ambush or sneak attack?" Kakashi inquired since he hadn't expected the blonde to so brazenly confront him in the open like this.

"True. But who said I was here? I'm a Shadow clone." The now revealed clone answered with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Oh. Pretty clever. Using a clone to distract me." The Jonin commented with a bit of pride.

"Much obliged. Anyway, a mutual friend of ours met up with me just a few seconds ago and asked me to deliver a message to ya." The clone spoke with a small smile.

The Jonin pulled out his favorite orange book and replied in an uninterested tone "Yes yes. What's the message?"

With a smirk the clone answered "The Sanbi incident wasn't your fault." As soon as those word's left the clone's mouth, Kakashi froze up, his heart nearly imploded and he felt like he had a foot in the grave. What very little of his face that was able to be seen turned a ghostly white as he shook. His book falling from his hands and onto the ground.

"What… did… you… just…. Saaaaaaaaaay?" Kakashi asked with his mind doing backflips and somersaults inside his skull. His brain unable to process what just happened. Then as quick as a flash a second clone snatched the two bells off of him and tossed them to the first clone that neatly caught them between his fingers.

"Yeah I know. Bit unsportsmanlike to take advantage of the situation. But in all fairness you did say 'use any means necessary.' Still. I'll be a good sport and hand one back." The clone spoke while tossing one of the bells to the Jonin who caught it and clipped it back onto his person.

"Well now. I won't begrudge you for that. Excellent use of strategy in unbalancing your opponent. But you're only a clone. One good punch and poof. The second bell is mine again." The Jonin spoke while regaining his composure, all the more impressed at the blonde's use of strategy and psychological tactics.

"True. Though for the record… that message was legit. And you can't steal back the bell if I do this." The Clone spoke while the second clone dispelled. He pressed his fingers to his lips and let out a sharp whistle. As if in cue, loud and ferocious barking sounds came as a pack of Black dogs with burning red eyes lunged forward, wisps of black smoke following them from where their tails are supposed to be.

The clone of Naruto tossed the bell in the air, which was quickly snatched up in the mouth of one of the Black Dogs, then they began running in circles until a large pillar of black smoke formed into a vortex. Now Kakashi couldn't tell which dog had the bell, then the vortex dispersed and the Black Dogs ran off in all directions . With a smirk the Shadow clone dispersed leaving a wide-eyed Jonin.

"I know I said 'Anything goes'…. But that's just not fair." Kakashi muttered while slumping his shoulders at the fact that a Genin fresh from the Academy had managed to get one over on him. He sighed as he decided to focus his attention on the other two Genin and maybe devise a strategy for the Jinchuuriki in the meantime.

 **With Sakura.**

"Okay. I'll give Naruto some credit and say the way he handled Sensei was awesome. But I bet Sasuke-kun can do even better! Now where is Sasuke-kun anyway?" the Pinkette asked herself as she ran through the woods, in search of the Uchiha.

"If you're looking for Sasuke, he should be west of here." Spoke a voice above her. When she looked she saw it was Naruto himself cleaning the dirt under his fingernails with one of his throwing knives.

"What the… how did you find me so quickly?" the Fangirl asked in apparent surprise.

"Wasn't hard. Not many girls with powerful vocal chords and pink hair here in Konoha. Anyway, I decided to be the bigger man and offer up some help. A certain friend of mine told me something good about this Bell test. If you promise to cooperate with me then I'll tell you." He spoke while his gaze glanced towards Rin Nohara who was giving a friendly wave in thanks for delivering her message.

"Hmph. If you really want to help me, then you should give me that bell you have!" spoke Sakura in a demanding tone as she held out her hand.

"And what would that solve? I give it to you, you might either lose it to Kakashi, or give it to Sasuke and he'll lose it anyway. The bells aren't even the point of the test." Naruto replied casually with a knowing smile.

"What is that supposed to mean?" She asked with a frown.

"You're supposed to be the Top Kunoichi. You figure it out. Anyway, I can tell you're not going to be cooperative. Don't say I didn't try and give a helping hand! Oh, and watch out for Genjutsu!" the blonde yelled out as he vanished into the tree tops. The pink haired girl raised an eyebrow at that, then moments later a shriek was heard that made numerous birds fly out of their hiding places.

Now standing over a fainted Sakura was Kakashi. The masked Jonin sighed and mumbled "She was given a warning and still fell for it. Gotta give Naruto props, that's for sure. Now what about Sasuke?"

 **With Sasuke.**

The Uchiha was running as he sought out the Jonin Sensei, in order to stay as a Genin and test his strength as well. A branch snapped causing Sasuke to stop and turn in the direction of the noise. Preparing to throw a Kunai if it was Kakashi.

"Key part of Stealth? Misdirection." Spoke Naruto from behind as he held one of his throwing knives to Sasuke's throat. A bead of sweat rolled down the Uchiha's forehead as he couldn't believe that the Dobe snuck up on him.

The Jimchuuriki withdrew the knife and replaced it into his bandolier and spoke with a small smile "Let's get this straight Sasuke. I'm not doing this to be your friend or anything. In fact, I couldn't care less if you died. But I'm not here to have a dick measuring contest with you. I'll be blunt, you agree to cooperate with me for a spell, and I'll tell you how to pass this test."

"Hn. I already know how. I just have to get the other bell… or better yet take the one you have." Sasuke spoke as he got into his Clan's Taijutsu stance. The blonde sighed as he kicked some dirt in the Uchiha's face making him sputter and cough, then Naruto swept the Uchiha's leg from under him with a kick and planted him on the ground. One of his knives pressed against Sasuke's throat.

"That's not gonna work Sasuke. And I can already tell you're still trying to overcompensate. You do know there's pills for your problem below the belt right? Anyway, You can't take the bell from me, or Kakashi for that matter. And I'm offering you a bit of help. You wanna achieve your goals through your own power? I can understand and respect that. I'm the kind of guy that likes to do things myself., but I'm not foolish enough to turn away help when I need it. So, final offer. Your cooperation for information on how to pass this backwards test, mkay?" Naruto spoke in an almost too smooth fashion, as though he had already anticipated what Sasuke would do.

"I don't need help from someone that tells me what to do about my revenge! What do you know about it anyway?!" the Uchiha demanded angrily as he shoved the blonde away.

Naruto sighed and holstered the throwing knife before answering "Like I said. I wasn't telling you what to do. Was just offering food for thought. As for what I know about revenge? Trust me. I know plenty. There's quite a few people I have on my shit list. But right now, I'm content with how things are. Mmm? Seems like our two hours are up." As if in cue, an alarm clock began ringing signaling the end of the test.

Sasuke grit his teeth angrily at the whiskered teen for wasting his time. "You can stop glaring daggers at me. The bells weren't even the real test." Spoke the blonde with his hands behind his head as he walked off towards the three posts at Training Ground 7.

Minutes later, Naruto was sitting cross legged with Shizukesa in his lap, feeding him from a bento provided by Kakashi for the Genin. Sasuke sat by too as he ravenously ate from his bento. Sakura however was tied to the middle post, her bento sitting open in front of her making her stomach growl angrily.

"Well. So far… Naruto-san has proven to be the most successful for three reasons. Firstly, he showed an excellent sense of strategy. Secondly, he managed to snatch a bell from me. And finally, he understood the real purpose behind this whole test." Kakashi spoke while crossing his arms, giving a nod of approval to the blonde.

"What do you mean Sensei? Weren't the bells part of the test?" asked Sakura with a perplexed expression.

"Not in the way you're thinking. As Naruto attempted to explain to both of you, the bells weren't the real test. The real test was seeing if you could work together. Sakura, you were focused entirely on Sasuke that you're semi-dependent on him. Sasuke, you believe you're so far above the rest that they weren't worth your time." Kakashi scolded them since he wanted to end this charade.

"But Naruto didn't help us either!" Whined Sakura as she tried to shift the blame to Naruto, who merely flipped the bird as his manager fed him some more food.

"True. He didn't. But he understood the purpose of the test. He wanted to secure your cooperation before telling you." Kakashi explained with a narrowed eye.

"Then why didn't he just tell us directly?" asked Sasuke with a large frown.

"Don't act like I'm not here. And if I would've told you, would that have encouraged you to cooperate with me?" the blonde asked at the end in a rhetoric manner. The silence from his two teammates being his answer.

Kakashi sighed, he had a long ways to go with this bunch but still… he had another idea. The dynamics of this team wasn't going to work. Sasuke and Naruto constantly clashed, and Sakura was quite biased due to her fangirl nature. He needed to try something else, then a light bulb blinked over his head as he spoke "I think I might have something else in mind."

This caught the Three Genin's attention as they wondered what the Jonin was up to now "I'm going to pass all of you. If only because I feel sorry for Sakura and Sasuke. Naruto however… shall be apprenticed to a certain Jonin." He spoke the last part with an eye smile.

"WHAT! Why does the Dobe get to be an apprentice to somebody?" Shouted Sasuke in both anger and jealously.

"Several reasons. For one thing, I think my teaching style won't suit Naruto and nurture his growth as a Shinobi. Plus I don't have much to teach him anyway. The Jonin I have in mind will be a much better fit for him." The Jonin explained with an eye smile.

"Works for me. Though, you sure the only reason you're passing those two is out of sympathy? THEY are rather touchy when it comes to Sasuke." Naruto noted with a knowing smile which caused Kakashi to chuckle nervously. That Naruto didn't miss a trick for Kakashi was admittedly pressured by the Civilian council.

With a two fingered salute the blonde spoke "Peace out bitches." And walked off with his manager in two, Rin Nohara followed close behind and thanked the blonde for his help. However little it was.

"Think nothing of it. Part of the job Rin-chan. Though, if you really wanna thank me, you could be one of my Familiars." The blonde spoke in a casual tone.

"Familiar?" asked the Former Jinchuuriki with a raised eyebrow.

"Simply put, my Manager Kesa-chan acquires a finger bone from your person and makes it into a token. Allowing me to keep you at my side. And when the situation is appropriate, I channel you so that I may have access to the abilities you had in life." The blonde explained bluntly.

"Wow. That's really cool. But ummm… I don't really know where my remains are." Rin spoke while crying anime tears.

"Don't worry about it. Kesa-chan is really good at her job. She'll find your remains." The blonde replied while patting his manager on the head who gave a simple thumbs up.

"Then I'll happily be your Familiar! It'll be nice to have someone to talk to. Say… what's with that redhead over there? Is she yours?" Rin asked while pointing towards a familiar Spirit that had followed the blonde around since his first day on the job.

Naruto grinned and clenched his fist, causing a series of sharp whistling noises to ring through the air. Causing the red haired Spirit to be ensnared by a number of wires. "Gotcha. You've been following me around for some time. I wonder why you've never… approached… me?" as he got closer… he could see the problem. This woman's soul was incomplete as evidenced by the fact multiple parts of her body was replaced by static. At a distance it remained unnoticed, but on close inspection it was evident.

Incomplete souls were a tricky business. Rare, but not unheard of if the person used certain techniques to split themselves apart. Incomplete Souls are highly sporadic and unpredictable in nature since they followed their most base instincts and could be easily sent into a feral rage.

"Well now. Seems like you weren't deliberately avoiding me in the traditional manner. You lack the capacity to communicate your needs. Well then… let's bottle you up and see if we can find the rest of you." The blonde spoke as he pulled out a special sealing bottle meant for Spirits and crammed the incomplete Spirit inside. Fortunately, Spirits, no matter what state they're in, are surprisingly elastic in nature, thus they can be crammed into things like jars and such if they've been sealed correctly to prevent the Spirits escape.

At last he managed to seal his Spirit stalker away and placed her inside his trench coat. The rest of the walk to his and Shizukesa's apartment in the Business district where the more expensive restaurants, homes and such reside, was uneventful.

"Damn. No matter how many times I come here, I still remember what a shithole my old apartment was." Naruto commented as his Manager locked the door behind them. With her usual blank and expressionless face, she picked the blonde up with strength disproportionate of her small body and tossed him on the nearby bed. Removing her monk's cloak and exposing her small almost flat chest, and her smooth perky ass.

"Already? No foreplay huh?" the Blonde teased as his manager pounced up on him and removed his clothes. He wasn't sure when he and his manager began such a relationship, but he wasn't complaining. She was certainly… both energetic as she was domineering.

"Shut up." Was all she spoke in her cold whispery voice. She kissed him roughly as her small hand reached inside his pants to bring out her prize. Minutes later, the sounds of thumping, moans, and other inappropriate noises kept the neighbors up for nearly six hours.

 **The next morning.**

"Fuuuuuuuck." Naruto groaned as he got up from bed, slipping on his boxers, he went into the kitchen. The smell of bacon enticing him to full awareness. In the kitchen he found his Manager Shizukesa wearing an apron in the nude. Cooking a hearty breakfast for him with a large amount of eggs and bacon.

"You raped and used me all night and now you're cooking me breakfast? Best Manager ever." The blonde teased, hoping to get a rise from her.

"Shut up." Was all she said in her whispery voice and pointed towards a chair with her cooking utensil. Prompting him to take a seat with a small smile.

"Good thing the Boss doesn't care about relationships between coworkers so long as we do our jobs and keep the books balanced." The Jinchuuriki commented in a joking tone. Shizukesa merely nodded and placed Naruto's serving in front of him on the table. Then she knelt down on her knees and pulled down his boxers.

"Again? We must have done it twelve times last night. I'm not sure we can… HELLO! Okay… THAT got me going." The Blonde spoke as his eyes widened at his Manager's actions. He merely shrugged and decided to enjoy the feeling as he ate his breakfast, the sounds of exaggerated slurping coming from beneath the table.

"Okay. You might have the underage and underdeveloped body of a ten year old… but what people don't know is you're really over three thousand years old. Soooooo, who's the real pedo?" he joked again. This time he jumped in his seat and groaned a bit "Okay. That kinda hurt." He muttered with a wince.

A few minutes later he finished up, his meal, and his business with his manager who gulped loudly while licking up a certain white substance from her lips. A knock came from the door prompting Naruto to open it, revealing one Anko Mitarashi.

"Hey Gaki. Seems your neighbors are filing complaints about the nightly noise." The purple haired woman spoke with a teasing grin, noting the underdressed form of both Naruto and Shizukesa.

"Oh yeah? Tell them that they can go eat a dick. I don't fucking care about them. So what brings your fine piece of ass over to my place? You looking for a threesome? Give me about two hours of rest and I'll be good to go again." The blonde spoke with a grin while checking out Anko's bust.

"First day and already sexually harassing your Sensei? Tsk tsk tsk. For shame Gaki-kun." She teased with a large grin on her face.

"Sensei? Ohhhhhhh. Kakashi asked you to take me on as an apprentice huh?" the Blonde realized with a smile on his face at having his Anko-chan as his sensei.

"You got it. I agreed more for your sake though. The paperwork has already gone through and I am your personal Sensei. And for the sake of our jobs, let's try and keep things professional while on the clock." She spoke while pressing her bust against his chest.

"Hey. I can be professional. No worries about that. Still, if nothing else, having you for my Sensei will be a hell of a lot more fun." He replied while grabbing one of Anko's soft mounds of flesh in his hand.

"There's just one itsy bitsy problem. Technically, you're still a registered Member of Team Seven until a suitable replacement is found. Sorry Naruto-kun. Policies about incomplete teams and all that." She spoke in a sheepish manner while rubbing the back of her head.

"Eh. No worries. If nothing else I can occasionally torment them for my Academy days." He spoke in an uncaring tone since he realized the possibility of this happening.

"True. Well, get dressed already Gaki-kun. We gotta meet them at the Hokage tower for Missions." She spoke in a dismissing tone since she knew it would be those boring ass D-ranks. Why they don't use those for Academy students she'll never know.

"Right. Right. Kesa-chan? I'll be heading out. Notify me if there's any developments on the Hyuuga case. Mkay? Don't forget about Rin-chan's finger bone token either." He called out to his manager who gave a small nod of her head and handed over his clothes and equipment to him. Then planted a kiss on his cheek, her face remaining blank as ever, but her unblinking eyes told a different story.

In one surprisingly fast motion, the blonde suited up and followed his new Sensei towards what would be, the more tedious and boring part of his Shinobi career.

 **End chapter one.**

 **Next time: Naruto Uzumaki. Genin of Konoha, and 'Expert' of Spirits. How did Naruto gain these strange abilities? Who is this 'Boss' he keeps mentioning? And how shall he balance his duties between his mysterious 'Boss' and his duties as a Shinobi?**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Wow. Good response for the first chapter. Anyway, leave lots and lots of reviews please. They are a pretty good encouragement.**

 **Chapter Two: The Dysfunctional Team Seven.**

It was late at night in Konoha. Naruto sat by himself in his shithole of an apartment. Tears leaking down his face as he absently slurped up his ramen. The salty noodles left a bland taste in his mouth as he swallowed hard. Then he slammed his chopsticks down on the ta le and slapped the cup ramen away making the contents splat against the wall.

He was tired. He had no real friends. No real family. Life was cold and grey without them. Naruto was in a deep depression due to his loneliness. He felt like the only way to put an end to it… was to hang himself and be done with it. No more loneliness, no more whispers behind his back, no more people belittling him for his shortcomings.

He grabbed a number of extension chords from his closet and tied them into a noose to fit around his neck. Sweat dripped down his forehead as he considered backing out. Should he? He didn't have much incentive to.

"Maybe I can give you a reason to live eh?" spoke a female voice behind him as though she had read his thoughts. Turning slowly he saw an elegant looking woman holding a glass of wine in her hand, one leg crossed over the other. She wore a white Miko outfit with two Tanto's at her sides with the Kanji for 'Heaven' on one and 'Hell' on the other.

Her hair shined like Silver with gold dust shimmering along as well. She had two different colored eyes, one a pale blue like rain water, the other a blazing orange color like fire. Her lips were painted black and two fangs jutted out from her upper lip. On her head was the tattooed Kanji of 'Four'. And finally in front of her was a pair of geta sandals, resting on the floor.

"Good evening Naruto Uzumaki. I am Four. (Shi.). Like the Number. Ergo the Kanji on my forehead." the female spoke with a charming smile and a sultry laugh.

"No offense lady, but if you're calling yourself a number, shouldn't it be 'Yon'? Cuz it sounds like you're addressing yourself as Death." The blonde asked while scratching his head. **(A/N: For those who don't know. The words 'Four' and 'Death' share the same word 'Shi'. Which is why the Number four is labeled as a number of Bad Luck in Japan.)**

"Maybe it's intentional. From the looks of things I'd say you're going to do something rash. Tsk tsk tsk. Poor boy. So alone. No friends or family. No real goal in mind. No sense of purpose. How sad." She spoke with a knowing smile.

"What the hell do you know anyway lady? This isn't your business! And how the hell did you get into my apartment?!" he yelled angrily since this woman was really annoying him with her haughty tone.

"I know plenty. And I came down the Chimney. Ho. Ho. Ho." She laughed slowly as though exaggerating the laughter.

"Kinda early for that kind of joke." The blonde retorted with a twitching eyebrow.

Four merely sipped her wine and spoke in a more serious manner "Indeed. But all Joking aside, I wish to offer you a proposal. You work for me, faithfully and loyally, and I promise you may live however you please."

"What kind of a deal is that?!" he yelled since this woman was highly suspicious.

"A very good one if you realize its value. Under my care and guidance, you won't want for anything. Fufufu. Poor miserable boy. So full of anger, wrath, and despair. You don't even know what to do with yourself. Instead of whining about it like a melodramatic bitch in a soap opera, why don't you actually try and change it? That's all I'm offering." She spoke with a piercing gaze, as though she were looking deep inside his very soul.

For a few moments Naruto was stunned into silence, something about her words… clicked in his brain. He never needed to kill himself, it was just a fruitless and reckless decision that he made without thought. Without regarding that there might be something better. He cursed himself for acting without thought and promised that he wouldn't do something so foolish ever again. If this woman was truly promising him something better then… what did he have to lose?

"Okay. You've got a deal." The Blonde spoke accepting his fate and resolving to live his life to the fullest under this woman's employment.

"Excellent. Now allow me to reintroduce myself. When you said that it sounded like I was addressing myself as 'Death' (Shi) instead of 'Four' (Yon), you weren't entirely wrong. It's a bit of a joke really I amuse myself with. I am the Shinigami, I refer to myself as Four (Shi.)" the now revealed Shinigami known as Four spoke with a smile.

"Hang on… if you're really the Shinigami, why'd you stop me from killing myself? Doesn't that defeat your whole purpose?" the blonde asked with a confused expression.

"True. But there are special exceptions which can or need to be made. You are something extraordinary. Now then, your job is relatively simple. You must perform whatever Jobs, I or my bookkeeper assigns to you. Simple as that." She explained while snapping her fingers which summoned a small girl in a black monk's cloak scribbling something into a black leather tome.

"This is Shizukesa, or Kesa-chan for short. She is my Bookkeeper. Isn't she cute? Don't be fooled by her appearance, she is well over three thousand years old. She'll be taking very good care of you from now on." Four elaborated while sipping at her wine.

The red eyed Bookkeeper looked up from her work for a moment and gestured to the apartment with her pen and spoke in a whispery voice "Shit."

"Got it one Kesa-san." The blonde spoke with a large sweat-drop since this apartment was indeed a shithole.

"Wait… you weren't scared by her voice? Everyone that hears her voice becomes terrified by her." The Shinigami spoke with a surprised expression, her eyes widened slightly.

"I thought her voice sounded nice. Like a little bell." Naruto replied in a blunt manner.

Four smiled and chuckled slightly "I see. You amuse me. Very well then, Kesa-chan shall be your manager from here on. She'll tend to whatever you need and assign various jobs for you. Oh, and since you'll be working for me, you're going to need the Eyes of the Shinigami. Here. See as I see." She spoke before planting her palm over his eyes. A strong tingling filled his eye sockets as she released him, an explosion of colors filling his vision as he nearly stumbled over.

"Don't worry. You'll get used to the new eyes. We'll be in touch Naruto-kun. And happy hunting! You'll get your scythe later from Kesa-chan." With that said she snapped her fingers and vanished from existence, leaving the whiskered boy with his new manager.

"So ummm. I don't suppose you can get me out of this Shithole apartment can you?" he asked while looking almost pleadingly at the Bookkeeper.

"Can do." Was all she said when she lifted him up and tossed him out the window with surprising strength that was disproportionate to her small body. Naruto screamed as he fell to the ground with a loud thud.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?!" he yelled out angrily since he got chucked for no apparent reason.

Shizukesa appeared on the rusty and rickety railing of the Apartment's fire escape an intimidating triple bladed scythe in her hand as she spoke in a quiet voice "Training." This prompted the blonde to begin sweating bullets, and run off into the night leaving a dust cloud behind him as his Manager gave chase.

 **Present time.**

Narutovs eyes fluttered open as he awoke, his head resting on the lap of his Manager who was tenderly stroking his scalp. Her crimson unblinking eyes staring into his sapphire blue ones. "Hey Kesa-chan. Just had a dream, or more specifically a memory of how I got started on the job." He spoke with a large grin.

His manager merely nodded since she remembered the events quite well, more specifically her daily training of the blonde proved quite amusing for her.

"WILL YOU STOP SLACKING OFF AND HELP US BAKA?" yelled one Sakura Haruno, ruining the moment as she picked up litter from a river along with Sasuke who was also glaring at the blonde for his laziness.

"What? I'm helping." The Jinchuuriki quipped while pointing at the various Shadow clones who were helping as well.

"Pretty clever. That's my student for ya. Leaving clones to do the boring D-ranks!" yelled Anko with a bit of pride, Kakashi standing by with an eye smile directed at the blonde, giving him a thumbs up for taking an easy way out.

"HEY! DOBE! TEACH ME HOW TO MAKE THESE CLONES!" Sasuke demanded angrily, Sakura shouting her agreement and that she should be taught too.

At their demands a light bulb blinked over Naruto's head as he turned to the pair of Jonin with a malicious smile "Should I? We can call it a training accident."

Kakashi immediately grimaced at the idea. The Shadow Clone technique was specifically placed in the Forbidden Scroll because of its high Chakra consumption. Make one too many clones and your body would give out from Chakra exhaustion. The masked Jonin's guess was that's what Naruto was counting on should he have his way. "Let's not. I'd prefer not to have them killed because of carelessly teaching a Forbidden Jutsu."

"Damn. Way to spoil my fun." Naruto groaned while crossing his arms with a frown.

Anko laughed at his expense and yelled "Better luck next time Gaki-kun!"

Kakashi shook his head at their antics. Perhaps both Naruto and Anko were too much alike. Both had a certain pleasure in pissing people off for their own amusement. He then glanced at the Snake user and spoke to her "Say Anko, I've been meaning to ask. How are you so familiar with Naruto? I'm aware you met a few times but, well, I wasn't expecting you to be so… close."

"Oh. Ummm. He… helped me out a while back. I don't really wanna talk about it. It's personal." The purple haired woman replied nervously as she laced her fingers together.

Kakashi's visible eye widened as he pointed a shaky finger at her "Anko… you didn't…"

"What?" asked the Snake user as she raised an eyebrow.

"Did you umm… you know… do it… with...?" Kakashi asked nervously as he kept glancing between Naruto and Anko.

The purple haired woman's eyes filled up with realization as she spoke angrily "Kakashi Hatake. You've been reading that book too much. Get you head out of the gutter and put the book away, or else I'll burn it on top of your junk. Got it?" She threatened with a twitching eyebrow, forcing her Fellow Jonin to put away his book for fear of his manhood.

"What's the matter Kakashi? Jealous? Me and Hebi-hime haven't done the nasty stuff her. But her ass is mine." Naruto spoke, inserting himself into the conversation while groping his female Sensei's ass under her miniskirt.

She blushed a bit then spoke in a teasing tonr "Careful Naruto-kun. Those goods are expensive. Wouldn't want to soil them just yet would we?"

"No. We wouldn't. But doesn't mean I can't occasionally inspect them." He replied while giving her ass cheek a squeeze.

"WILL YOU CUT THAT OUT? THAT'S DIRTY!" yelled Sakura angrily at the lewd display.

Naruto merely gave her a charming smile and quipped "Why? You angry you aren't getting any? Mmm, you're kinda cute I guess with the pink hair and all. Declare that Sasuke is an Emo with a pencil dick and I might consider making you my cute puppy bitch."

At this, the Fangirl's voice got caught in her throat as a mental image of her wearing puppy ears while on a leash filled her head. She shook her head of that image since she wasn't into that kind of thing… or was she?

"Naruto-san? Must you always be so… crass?" asked Kakashi with a raised eyebrow, wondering why the blonde spoke in such a manner.

"Not all the time. But I like how it fucks with people's heads. Especially when it comes to questioning some guys masculinity. Like Sasuke for an example. You can tell he's trying to overcompensate for his underdeveloped penis." The blonde explained as if it were perfectly normal.

"SCREW YOU DOBE! MAYBE WE SHOULD QUESTION HOW BIG YOUR PENIS IS?" Sasuke snapped angrily since the blonde had constantly kept referring to his penis size.

"Touchy touchy. If I triggered you like that then I must be right about something. As for my junk, I certainly haven't had any complaints from my female companionship." The Jinchuuriki answered with a large grin.

"We… are getting off track here. Can we please finish up this mission and move on?" The Copy ninja asked to preserve his own sanity and move things along. With a bitter sigh, the Genin of the team nodded with The Real Naruto resuming his position on his Manager's lap.

 **Meanwhile**.

Kizashi Haruno had just arrived home from another council meeting. A deep sigh escaped him, in recent months an 'anonymous donor' had paid him and his fellow Civilian council members exorbitant sums of money to keep their mouths shut and leave the Jinchuuriki alone. The money was far too good to ignore so he was satisfied with leaving the Demon brat to his own devices.

But recently he learned that Naruto was on the same Team as his daughter. So he angrily demanded the Hokage remove the boy from the Shinobi ranks for his daughters and the Uchiha's safety. The Sandaime dismissed him completely stating that Naruto was now apprenticed to Anko Mitarashi, and that once a suitable replacement for Team Seven had been found, then Naruto would be peacefully, legally, and quietly removed from the Team. Leaving Kizashi's demands moot.

The pink haired man shuddered at the thought of the Snake whore and Demon brat together. There was no telling what kind of trouble they could concoct together. The sound of a can opening came from the kitchen, causing the Ex Shinobi to look inside and find a woman with an orange streak along her bangs, wearing a black jacket and jeans.

Her amber eyes looked up towards him as she took a sip of beer. She chuckles then asks "Do you have any peanut butter? I prefer crunchy. More texture."

"What?" was the only intelligent reply Kizashi could muster.

"Ya know, Peanut butter? Tasty stuff ya scrape across bread? Sometimes put jelly with it? I'm not stuttering am I?" she spoke in a taunting manner. Kizashi swallowed a lump in his throat and pointed to a cabinet next to the fridge, with a smirk she rummaged through it and found what she was looking for. "Ah fuck it. It's smooth." She complained as she popped the jar open and used a butter knife to spread the peanut butter across a slice of bread.

"Wh-who are you? How did you get in my house?" he demanded while breaking into a cold sweat.

"Call me Mary. Nooooow, here's the thing, you've been receiving a lot of cash to leave Naruto alone yeah? The only rule was to leave him be, and you'd be paid handsomely. And now, you've broken your promise. So, I'm here to settle your debts and make sure you keep your trap shut." She spoke with a large grin pulling out a meat cleaver from her jeans.

"My Benefactor doesn't like being cheated. So now I'm gonna enjoy fucking shit up." Mary said in a near demonic tone, her tongue sliding across the blade.

"MEBUKI! CALL THE ANBU! CALL ANYBODY!" Kizashi screamed in terror as he lunged towards his room where he kept his old Shinobi gear.

"GO AHEAD AND RUN! MAKE THIS MORE FUN FOR ME!" yelled the voice of Mary as she slowly stalked after him. Her boots making a thump sound with each step. Kizashi slammed the door to his room shut and locked it. The footsteps slowly but gradually getting closer. Then… they stopped.

Thinking he had some time, he attempted to unlock the display case where he kept his old hear, but saw in the reflection, was his wife Mebuki. Bound in the nude and gagged with a large apple in her mouth. Her jaws spread too wide apart, and her teeth dug into the apple's flesh keeping her from speaking. Sitting on the blonde woman's lap… was Mary. A saucy grin on her face as she both sadistically and sensually dragged her cleaver along Mebuki's finely aged face.

A stream of urine fell down the chair's legs as the blonde woman lost control of her bladder and fell into blissful unconsciousness due to sheer terror. "Ohhhhh. And I wanted to play with her some more. She's not bad looking." Spoke the Amber eyed woman as she slowly walked towards Kizashi, rotating the cleaver in her hand.

Kizashi got into a sloppy Taijutsu stance showing off his distinct lack of training. Mary just chuckled as two clones appeared and grabbed him by the arms, with a smile they dragged him back down into the kitchen and ripped off his clothes. Then pressed him flat against the floor.

Mary smirked as she jammed an apple in his mouth, cutting off his ability to speak. She then eyed the nearby grill outside and asked while grabbing a large baster "Tell me… you ever been to a Luau?"

 **Back with Team Seven.**

"D-rank mission to clean litter has been completed." Kakashi announced with his signature Eye smile. In response Hiruzen nodded, having just returned from a meeting with Kizashi which proved just as exhausting as paper work. Running Mission assignments was a welcome relief.

"Oi! Old man! How about giving us a C-rank already?" asked Naruto in a jovial tone, his Manager at his side scribbling into a black leather tome.

"Naruto! Address the Hokage with more respect! And your team is far too inexperienced for a C-rank!" yelled one Iruka Umino. Another person on the Blonde's shit list.

"Ya didn't have to yell. I'm hard headed. Not deaf. Oi, Old man. Isn't there like a prerequisite for number of D-ranks before a Team's ready for a C-rank? Oh and Iruka? This won't be 'my team' for much longer." The spoke while clearing out his ear with his pinkie.

The Sandaime nodded at the blonde's question and answered "Very good Naruto-kun. That's quite correct. Standard number is twelve to fifteen D-ranks before a team is considered ready for a C-rank."

The whiskered teen nodded and began listing off the missions they had done so far, counting them on his fingers. First was catching Tora, weeding a garden, walking a group of dogs, and most recently cleaning up a river. Which made four, meaning they would have to complete eight or more Missions. The blonde then got a gleam in his eye and spoke "Old man! Give us every D rank you have on file."

At this Iruka did a spittake from his coffee, not believing the blonde's attitude and at how he requested for every D rank mission. "Umm… are you sure about that?" Hiruzen asked while taking a drag from his pipe.

"Sure I'm sure. Just hand'em over and soon to be made army of Shadow clones will handle the rest!" the blonde replied with a large grin. Kakashi and Anko's eyes widening as they gave a solid thumbs up. Sakura and Sasuke quietly admitted… that they were glad Naruto abused the Shadow clone jutsu. While Shizukesa herself only nodded, fully expecting him to pull something like this.

"Th… that….. YOU CAN'T DO THAT! THAT'S CHEATING!" yelled the Scarred Chunin using his Big Head Jutsu.

Naruto merely shrugged and spoke while sharpening a throwing knife "Might be. But I don't recall there being an official rule prohibiting the use of Shadow clones to handle multiple D-ranks." At this Hiruzen could only chuckle since the boy had a point. Why make a rule for something when even Kage's are hard pressed to use the Shadow clone technique?

"Enough. I can tell you're pretty serious about this. If you're that determined to get a C-rank, then I won't hold you back. Plus from Kakashi's reports on the bell test, and since two Jonin Sensei will be present. I see no harm in permitting this. Your mission is to investigate an odd Cult that sprang up in recent weeks. So far we believed it was just a drunken group of delinquents and juveniles. But recently there have been signs of strange rituals being conducted. Animal sacrifices and whatnot. We are concerned that this might escalate into something worse if these claims are legitimate." The Hokage explained in a grave tone.

Kakashi and Anko both held impassive faces, they had seen many unusual things, and if this cult proved dangerous then things would definitely go downhill. Sasuke merely huffed but was grateful the Dobe was successful in getting a better mission, Sakura however looked quite spooked. Naruto himself scratched his cheek and asked "Who was the whistle-blower?"

"Normally, for security reasons, I wouldn't be able to answer that. But the informant has already given the Alias 'Four' (Shi)." The Sandaime answered while looking at the mission's file.

"Death? Informant calls himself Death? (Shi.)" asked Iruka with a nervous expression.

"No no! Like the number! Four! (Yon.)" replied Hiruzen with a wave of his hand making the Chunin sweat-drop at why someone went by the alias of an unlucky number. Suddenly an Anbu both Naruto and Anko identified as Yugao, aka Neko appeared and whispered something in the Hokage's ear.

A grim expression crossed his face as he spoke "You may begin your investigation immediately. Something… something just came up that requires my attention." With a nod, the two Jonin ushered the Genin out, Shizukesa following close behind. When they were gone, the Hokage immediately followed after his Anbu.

 **Minutes later.**

"So Kizashi Haruno is dead?" asked Hiruzen as he entered the Haruno household with Neko.

"That's correct. We found Mebuki Haruno upstairs. Alive, but unconscious. We have already taken her to the hospital for treatment, but she's catatonic right now. We won't be getting any information from her till she recovers." Neko reported while guiding the aged Hokage through the crime scene.

"I see. So… where's the body?" asked Hiruzen since he hadn't seen any signs of blood or a body as of yet.

"Umm… about that… I hoped you had a light lunch. Or better yet, none at all." She spoke nervously while lifting up the lid of a grill. Smoke and steam coming out, along with the stench of burnt meat.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD!" The Sandaime yelped out in disgust at the sight of Kizashi who was clearly roasted alive, like a stuffed pig, as evidenced by the shriveled apple in his mouth. The charred and dark brown flesh making a horrendous stench which forced the Hokage to slam the lid shut and up chuck his lunch onto the floor.

"That was… my reaction too Hokage-sama. In the Anbu I have seen and done all kinds of nasty stuff. But this… I think that whoever did this really had it out for Kizashi." Neko spoke while adjusting her mask a bit.

Hiruzen rubbed the vomit from his chin, acknowledging Neko's opinion. It is true that nobody really liked Kizashi, not even his own wife. But whoever did this… they must've held some kind of a personal grudge. "Find out who did this. Find them." He ordered with a small snarl. While he wasn't saddened by Kizashi's death… the last thing he wanted was a psychopath roaming Konoha, especially with that bothersome cult hanging around.

 **Back with Team Seven.**

"Still no word from the Hyuugas?" Naruto asked his manager as he held her hand. The small girl merely shook her head as a response. The blonde grumbled quietly to himself. The Spirit in question was becoming increasingly aggressive in its approach at the Hyuuga compound, then it just dropped off the radar? Spirit hauntings don't just stop out of the blue. It must be waiting for something.

"What about Rin-chan's remains?" he asked again, hoping to get the Finger bone charm so he might have a familiar. The girl glanced up at him and replied "Making progress." Being sure to keep her voice low enough the others wouldn't hear her. But still a shudder ran up Sasuke's spine making him feel cold for no real reason despite Konoha's warm climate.

"All right team so listen up! This cult has been quite secretive in its nature and practices. We don't have a whole lot of information on them. So we should be careful. I think it best that one of us infiltrates their numbers and figure out what they're doing in there." Spoke Kakashi as he began to formulate a plan in case things went sour.

"That might not be necessary Kakashi-san. I know someone that could help us out. She's not a Kunoichi per se, but she has… special talents." The Blonde offered in an attempt to make their job easier to which both Jonin nodded in agreement if it could help.

Great. Hey uh, Kesa-chan? You have that little compact mirror with you?" the blonde asked, prompting his Manager to pull out a small mirror from her monks cloak. With a grateful nod, he accepted it and opened it up with a click, followed by the brief Chanting of 'Bloody Mary'.

"You can't be serious Dobe. How's an old ghost story going to…" Sasuke spoke at finally being able to get one over on the Whiskered teen but was cut off by a female voice speaking behind him.

"Who's an old ghost story?" asked Bloody Mary herself with a grin. She approached the blonde and ruffled his hair a bit before planting a kiss on his cheek. "If it isn't my favorite brat. What you need from Auntie Mary mmm?" she asked with a large grin.

"Holy shit! Is that the REAL Bloody Mary?!" yelped Sakura while pointing at the amber eyed woman.

Mary chortled a bit as she faced towards the Pinkette "Fuck yeah I am the real thing. Little Bimbos huddle around telling ghost stories about me and giggle away as they think its cute to say my name three times in the mirror. They find it less funny when I feed them their own entrails." She spoke with a laugh.

Kakashi's headband fell off slightly, partially revealing his Sharingan eye. Sakura and Sasuke both jaw dropped while Anko wolf whistled. "Now Mary. I'm sure they'd be fascinated by your war stories. But back on topic if you please." The blonde spoke getting Mary's attention.

"Sure, sure, whatever you say. What ya need?" she asked while fingering the meat cleaver holstered at her hip.

"I need you to infiltrate that old shrine there and figure out what the cult members are doing. Think you can swing that?" the blonde asked with a charming smile.

"For you sweetheart? I'd butcher a whole herd of Long pig, and serve them up as Lasagna for the people on your shit list." She spoke with a sadistic smile planting another smooch on his cheek.

"Well that was a little dark. But I'll take that as a yes. Oh, and refrain from killing anyone 'less you need to." The Blonde commented as the amber eyed Spectre walked off.

"I don't make promises I can't keep." She replied while vanishing into thin air. Though on the ground there was a small puddle which rippled slightly.

"What's Long pig?" asked Sakura while scratching at her forehead.

"Probably better if you don't know." Naruto commented in a dismissive manner, making the two Jonin nod in agreement which made question marks pop over the heads of both the Fangirl and Uchiha.

 **Inside the Old Shrine.**

Mary moved from every reflective surface in the Shrine, fortunately these idiots liked looking at themselves as evidenced by all the mirrors around. She noted that there were dozens of Hannya masks hanging from the walls, this place was probably the old Uzumaki Shrine which contained the mask of the Shinigami. If she alerted Four about this, she could be egregiously rewarded.

There weren't many Cult members inside, she couldn't see their faces because of the hoods on their robes, no matter what angle of mirror she tried, and stepping out of the Mirror realm would blow her cover. She sighed and watched them as they dumped buckets of blood into a large basin that was dug into the ground, one of them was busy tossing aside floorboards they had pulled up in order to make said basin.

"Should we wait for the others? The night is when the ritual shall be at its strongest." Spoke one of the cloaked figures.

"No. We cannot afford to wait. The blood will be spoilt by the time our fellow members arrive. This soil is teeming hatred. Old hatred. There is much anger and hate within these walls. We have only one chance at this. We cannot waste this opportunity!" spoke another in a tone of urgency. The others nodded in agreement with him.

Forming a circle around the blood filled basin in the ground, they began chanting in a Language that Mary couldn't understand. As their chanting grew louder and louder, the blood began to bubble and boil, steam began filling the room as the blood grew hotter and hotter. Mary could feel it even from within the Mirrors. She knew then… these people were actually trying to summon something. Something not of this world.

After some minutes the boiling blood evaporated into steam, but in the center of the basin was a large solid clump. It then began to move, arms outstretched to the ground as it pushed itself up, the slender legs appeared, one, then the other as the figure rose up from the ground revealing a female figure. The blood dripping off her skin exposing her pale, almost grey skinned flesh.

"That's our lord? He doesn't look anything like in our books." Spoke one of the Cult members in confusion.

"No you idiot! Something must have gone wrong! Kill this imposter and let's try again." Yelled another which made them pull out tanto's from the sleeves of their robes. The woman's eyes opened revealing deep amethyst colored eyes as she let out a loud scream, the force of it sending the Cultists into the walls and cracking the mirrors. The woman then bolted out the front door and run off in the nude.

Outside, Team Seven heard the girl's scream followed by her running out. "NARUTO! GET THE RUNNER!" shouted Anko as she and Kakashi rushed inside to arrest the Cultists. Without hesitation he dashed off towards the female who was running for her life… then she was flying.

She was now flying through the air. The blonde heard rumors that the Tsuchikage of Iwa had a technique that allowed him the ability of flight as well. Shaking his head, he knew he'd have to ground her before she got too high. Focusing his Chakra into his legs he lunged forward and pounced on the woman before she could take off above the tree line.

They rolled along the ground for a few moments until the Jinchuuriki was on top of her. The girl struggled in his grip, frantically kicking and flailing beneath him screaming in terror. Finally she used up her stamina and looked into his eyes.

For a moment the Blonde, felt a mental probe poke at his mind. He had been trained by Shizukesa to resist such things, but the probe was giving off vibes. Emotional ones. Anger, fear, and so on. His mental defenses caught the girl's probe in a vice like grip. But then something unexpected happened… a second one slipped by and began running through his memories… his childhood ones for a start.

A sudden pained expression filled her eyes. She saw the pain of loneliness, the feeling of not being loved by friends or family. The looks of loathing and the whispers. It was all there. She realized… he wasn't a threat. She relaxed in his grip and retracted both mental probes from his mind.

Sensing she had calmed down, he released her, unclipped his Scythe from his back and threw his Trench coat on her to cover her nude body. She accepted the gesture and slipped her arms through the sleeves, buttoning the coat closed and tying odd the bottom part to preserve her modesty.

"Come on. Let's go." He spoke in a gentle tone offering her a hand up.

She glanced between his eyes, and his hand. Her lip quivering slightly as though she were struggling to find the right words to speak. "Please…" was all she managed to choke out.

"Please? Please what?" he asked, wondering if he had hurt her.

"Please… make… a… covenant with me." She managed to speak as she found her voice. The blonde quirked up an eyebrow as he wondered what she meant by making a covenant. Without warning she lunged up towards him, her smooth and warm lips meeting his.

Her voice spoke deep inside his mind "Our Covenant has been made, servant of the Shinigami. Forever yours. Forever together. I, formerly known as Rachel Roth. Shall be your Raven. I will be your wings. I will be your eyes. My magic will be your tool. In return, there's a certain being I wish destroyed." When she broke off the kiss, she fainted dead away in his arms. A calm expression filling her face now.

"I know you're there." Naruto spoke calmly as Mary appeared from behind. A small smile on her face as her hand brushed against his shoulders.

"You must have guessed by now yeah? Those Cultists summoned her here. Though I don't think it was her they wanted." Spoke the Mirror Phantom with a look of interest in her eyes.

"Tell the Boss what you need to. But in Konoha? We'll tell them she was a human sacrifice they kidnapped. I think it best you vanish for awhile Mary." The blonde spoke as he picked 'Raven' up in a bridal carry.

"Sure thing. Ms. Four, should be able to dig something up. See ya around. It's always fun hanging with ya. Interesting things keep happening around you." She spoke with an amused expression then vanished out of existence.

 **Later.**

It has been a few hours since the arrest of some Key members of the unnamed Cult. Team Seven (Anko included.) Were labeled as Heroes for rescuing the mysterious girl from being sacrificed. Or so the news went after the 'official report' had been made.

"Can you tell me your name? Where are you from? Where's your family? What's your date of birth?" Iruka asked in a rapid fire manner, as though he were trying to interrogate the poor girl.

"IRUKA! For Kami's sake man! Let the girl breathe! She's just had a traumatic experience." The Hokage angrily scolded. Not liking the Chunin's attitude in the slightest.

"But Hokage-sama, we need her to answer our questions before we…" the Scarred Chunin tried to explain himself but was cut off by the Sandaime.

"Enough! Get out! I've had enough of you Iruka!" shouted Hiruzen as he literally gave the Academy teacher the boot, right out the door.

Sitting in front of the Hokage's desk was Naruto, there to give the real story on the days events. Standing next to him was Anko who was giving the pale skinned girl a sympathetic look. "I'll be outside in case he comes back. Holler if ya need something." The Snake User spoke and left the office, locking the door behind her.

With a sigh, the Sandaime sat down with a tired expression and spoke "All right Naruto-kun. I'm aware that you're an 'Expert' when it comes to these types of things. Your Boss sent a very… persuasive letter convincing me to trust your judgment on matters involving the 'strange and supernatural'. So what's the real story behind this poor girl?"

"To sum it up, those Cultists were trying to summon something from another realm beyond this one. Instead, this girl is summoned. She referred to herself as 'Raven' and made a Covenant with me. I think that she must indeed have some form of a connection to whatever the Cult is trying to summon. And whatever it is… I guarantee that it won't be friendly." The blonde spoke in summary, while also providing a warning.

"Hmmm. With one group caught, the others will work hard to conceal themselves. And knowing the fanatically loyal types, we will have a hard time breaking them. If this is as bad as you say, we might resort to more… less than legal methods." The Sandaime spoke gravely while lighting his pipe.

"A bunch of cultists or an entire villages worth of people. Take your pick. Shouldn't be hard. I'm gonna take this 'Raven' with me. She might be able to shed some more light on things later." Naruto spoke as he got up and escorted the girl out with Anko following close behind the two as they exited the tower.

Outside the Hokage's window, unseen to the naked Human eye, is the Shinigami, identified only by the name 'Four'. Her different colored eyes narrowed as she muttered "So… Trigon's bastard child is here eh? How interesting. Naruto-kun, I wonder if you have it in you to slay a demon lord." With that she snapped her fingers and vanished to another part of Konoha.

 **The Hyuuga Compound.**

At the Hyuuga compound, Hanabi Hyuuga was in her private bathroom. Dressed in her pajamas and preparing to brush her teeth. She squeezed the tube of toothpaste causing it to spill onto her brush. She then snapped the cap closed and began scrubbing at her teeth while humming a small tune. All the while she thought of Naruto.

He seemed like a pretty nice guy, though maybe a tad odd. She actually wanted to see him again, maybe get to know him better too. She suddenly felt cold as she spat into the sink, when she looked up at the mirror again, she saw that her mirror had fogged up. She tried to clear the mirror up with her hand, but no matter how hard she tried she couldn't wipe it off.

Then, a letter formed at the top of a mirror. Followed by another, and another. Until it formed the message 'Hush now. Quiet now.'

Hanabi gulped as she shakily dropped her toothbrush to the floor, then the light bulb for the bathroom exploded overhead sending sparks about. Then an invisible hand grabbed the young girl over the mouth and dragged her into the darkness. On the ceiling, was a new message in red that reads 'She is mine. The Elders will not have her. Or the other.'

 **End chapter two.**

 **Omake: Camping trip. (A/N: Happy Anniversary tomorrow to my girlfriends. Carly and Kiana.)**

"Hahaha! Training! I'm gonna train! I'm gonna train to be Hokage!" chanted the voice of Konohamaru who marched through the woods… after having taken a wrong turn to meet his current teacher Ebisu. The scarf wearing boy marched along until he came across a campsite. Chock full of goodies and food.

"Whoa! Awesome! Heh. I wonder if this is the lair of a bandit." The boy spoke in a playful manner while holding up his fake Shuriken, trying to act like a real Shinobi.

"Hey. You touch any of my stuff?" asked a female voice behind him. When he turned he was met with the nude form of an ebony skinned woman who was stretching her arms. Her chocolate breasts out for the world to see.

"Ack! What the hell? A jungle bandit?" asked the young Sarutobi in shock, and a nosebleed forming.

"Okaaaaay that was a bit racist. But whatev. The names Carly. You're a little far from home kid. Then again… I'M far from home." The now identified Carly spoke in a casual manner. Sitting on a fallen log as she roasted a marshmallow over the fire.

"Ummm… lady? Where's your clothes?" the boy asked while trying not to stare at… certain places.

"Left them at home. Made a bet with my Girlfriends sister in law. Emily. We're in the woods, no clothes, with only a fully stocked tent. Thpugh the change of scenery is kinda nice. Last time I spoke with my boyfriend, he told me he had a dream about me wrestling down a bear. Haha! I might be a Dyke, but even I couldn't wrestle with a bear! Them suckers grow biiiiig." Carly spoke with a large grin then she felt the hot breath of something on the back of her neck.

Turning around she was met by the sight of a large grizzly bear, panting and sniffing at her. So far, it didn't show any signs of aggression. "Uhhhh, hey there Yogi. How ya doing? Ya like chocolate chip?" she asked while offering a cookie from a box labeled 'chips ahoy!'

The grizzly sniffed at the snack then ate it up from her hand. The young Sarutobi was amazed at the sight of this woman feeding a bear a box of cookies. Eyeing a camera he picked it up to take pictures of the sight.

Carly slowly rose up from her seat as she fed the Grizzly another cookie. Then the flash of a camera occurred which made the bear stand on its legs and roar angrily as it swung a law at her. She ducked under it and tossed the box aside yelling "YOU WANT SOME? YOU WANT SOME SMOKEY? COME GET IT BOO BOO!"

She sent several blows to the Bear's midsection as the camera flashed again. The bear grabbed her in its paws in order to bite on her head, she headbutted it on the snout making it reel back in pain. Letting out a war cry she jumped on the bear's back and grabbed it around the neck in a chokehold.

Another camera flash occurred as the bear tried slamming her against a tree. Holding tight Carly refused to let go, then bit the bear on its ear. With another roar of pain it rolled onto its back, but she released her grip and slid off before she could be crushed under its weight.

Having enough, the bear ran off whimpering and lowing into the woods. "THAT'S RIGHT! KEEP RUNNING YOGI! I'M GONNA MAKE A RUG OUT OF YOU IF YA !" Carly yelled after it while chucking a rock. Panting tiredly she wiped the sweat from her brow and spoke to the scarf wearing boy "I hope you got some good shots kid. My girlfriend Kiana is NOT gonna believe this one."

 **Elsewhere in Germany.**

One Kiana tapped her pen against her desk then sneezed. She sniffled for a moment then spoke to herself "Bum Bums or Hanta-kun must be talking about me."

 **End Omake.**

 **A/N: Did I need to add in Raven and Bloody Mary as guest characters? No I didn't. I just did for my own amusement. Hope you enjoyed the chapter and brief Omake. Please review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Yet another chapter of my surprisingly successful story. As a heads up, I intend to add in one more guest character. Who will it be? That's a secret. When will this character appear? When I deem it appropriate. Anyway, enjoy and please leave lots of reviews.**

 **Current guest Characters:**

 **Raven: (Teen Titans, the animated series.)**

 **Bloody Mary. (The Wolf Among us.)**

 **Third Guest: ?**

 **Chapter three: Circles within circles.**

The Sandaime was once again filing paperwork, albeit this time with the aid of Shadow clones. A small idea he got from Naruto using Shadow clones to perform those D-ranks. If the boy could abuse the Jutsu for manual labor and whatnot, why couldn't Hiruzen himself abuse it on Paperwork.

The process was a rousing success, the Sandaime made a memo to thank the blonde later for indirectly giving him this ingenious idea. The window to his office opened revealing the form of Jiraiya, the Toad Sannin and Hiruzen's student. "Yo! Sensei!" the Sannin greeted in a casual manner.

"Jiraiya-kun. You're back early." The Hokage commented as he lit his pipe.

"Yeah. I had to come back when I heard what was happening in Konoha. Weird happenings in the Hyuuga compound, a Cult popping up doing some nasty voodoo, and Kizashi Haruno being murdered. What the hell happened to Konoha? When did all this shit start cropping up?" the Sannin asked as he scratched his head.

The aged Hokage took a drag from his pipe and answered "Not sure. Maybe it was all buried beneath the surface, but we never noticed it. Or maybe it was right in front of our eyes but we deemed it unimportant. That is, till things came to a head. Fortunately an 'Expert' is handling at least two of those strange events you mentioned."

The Sannin raised an eyebrow and asked "An expert? Who? Is it a cute babe?" Hiruzen groaned inwardly at that last question, but chose to ignore it for now.

"Naruto Uzumaki. He has a particular talent for handling things of an… unusual nature." He answered while taking a long drag from his pipe then exhaled the smoke to continue speaking "About two years ago, I received a… strongly worded letter from an unknown sender who identified themselves as the number 'Four'. Inside were details of Naruto attempting to commit suicide. Four talked the boy out of it and offered him some kind of deal. Since then, the boy has become much more confident and skilled. He always has this little girl with red eyes with him who never speaks. And in recent weeks he has displayed a very crass attitude that irritates people, though he claims this is a tactic to unbalance people. Quite incredible really."

"Naruto? The Jinchuuriki brat? He's supposed to be an Expert on Cults?" the Sannin asked, not bothering to hide his skepticism.

"I didn't say he was an Expert on 'cults' I said he has a particular talent 'handling things of an unusual nature'. And he isn't just a Jinchuuriki. He's way more than that now." The Sandaime spoke with a bit of pride.

"Oi. Don't tell me you're going soft old man. The plan was to keep him in the dark and prevent him from growing too powerful too quickly." The Sannin spoke with disapproval of his old Sensei's approach.

"The plan wasn't to hinder him. The real plan was to leave him to his own devices and see how he handles his own responsibilities. You however have put too much stock in a Prophecy. And frankly, I find Naruto to be more than adequate as of now. I want no part in whatever plan you have." The Sandaime spoke while narrowing his eyes.

"You can't just back out! Think of Konoha's future!" Jiraiya yelled out in outrage at his Sensei losing perspective.

"Hmph. I just did. Naruto-kun deserves a chance to live his own life. Not one we have fabricated. If it is Konoha's fate to be destroyed become we didn't manipulate a prophecy to our advantage then… so much the better. It is not in our hands to tempt fate." Hiruzen spoke while taking another drag from his pipe. Having enough of this, the Sannin left so that he might confront the Jinchuuriki for himself and set things straight.

 **At Naruto's apartment.**

Since yesterday's event, Naruto had patiently attempted to coax the mysterious 'Raven' into speaking with him. For the most part she had quietly meditated while chanting a phrase 'Azarath metrion zinthos' over and over again.

From what Naruto could tell she was an Empath. A powerful one at that as he constantly felt her sensing his current emotional state. She could sense many things, anger, frustration, an intense hatred, but there was a certain purity about him. The negative emotions weren't directed at her. But something else entirely.

"My apologies for not speaking to you sooner. I required meditation to collect my thoughts and emotions." She spoke in a monotone voice, but despite this, it carried a hint of gratitude for his patience.

"Not a problem. You're an Empath right? Can sense the emotions of others?" he asked with a raised eyebrow while serving some tea.

"Sense. Absorb. Even manipulate." She replied, confirming his suspicions.

"I see. Handy tool. If applied appropriately you could sense if someone is lying. But enough about that. I want to learn more about you Raven." He spoke while pushing a cup of tea towards her. She accepted it and drank a bit.

She gave him a thankful nod for the drink and spoke "Ask me anything you wish."

He thought for a few moments then asked his questions "Who are you really? Why were you summoned by those Cultists? Why did you make that Covenant with me?"

The purple haired woman took another sip of tea and began to speak. "My name is Rachel Roth. Though I prefer going by the name Raven. Some years ago, my mother was raped by a demon called Trigon. My… father, is a demon lord who seeks not but total destruction. He is pure evil incarnate and he constantly seeks to manipulate me to use as a gateway into your world. If I don't repress and control my emotions he could attempt to take me over. We are fortunate that he didn't take notice of yesterday's events.

I can only guess those Cultists summoned me is because of my… father's bllood flowing through my veins. My summoning was… unintentional. And I made a Covenant with you… because you are a contradiction. You bear the aura of Death but you stay amongst the living. You possess the power of an ancient beast but your heart is pure. Flawed, but pure. I believe you may destroy Trigon and free me of his influence. In exchange, I have given you my loyalty. Anything within my power to give is yours."

At the end of her explanation he nodded and smiled "Thanks for telling me. I've never killed a Demon Lord. Should be fun. It'll be nice to have you around."

She raised an eyebrow at what he said. He thought that killing a Demon Lord would be fun? And it's nice having her? He was… an odd one. But she could sense that deep inside of him, was the strength to rock entire nations.

"Hey there!" spoke the jovial voice of the Shinigami, Four. Her silvery hair shining with flecks of gold in the light.

"Oh. Hey Boss. What's up?" the blonde asked since it was rare for his boss to show up in person like this, less it was important.

"I came to alert you that there's been another incident at the Hyuuga compound. Kesa-chan is out finding that Rin girl's remains out in Kiri. And well, since you seem to be getting fresh new talent, I thought it appropriate I get you a more suitable place of residence too." The Shinigami explained while drinking a glass of wine. While holding up her old Hannya mask from the Uzumaki Shrine.

"Raven, go with the boss. Get to know her a bit and see this new place she has in mind. I'll take care of things at the Hyuuga compound." The blonde spoke in a professional manner, the Half-demon nodded in agreement and followed Four outside.

Naruto grabbed his equipment and his trusty Scythe in the event he needed it and made his way towards the Hyuuga compound. When he arrived it seemed the place was in chaos as Side branch members went in and out at a frantic pace, many of them bearing grim expressions. Not bothering to announce himself he entered the grounds and heard crying a short way's off.

Following the noise he found Hinata in the Hyuuga council hall, clutching a photograph of her family, while Hanabi was still a baby. "Hey Hinata. I heard from my boss something happened." He spoke to her, crouching down at her side.

All he got in response was some sniffles and a few whining noises from the heiress, from his guess she was too distraught to answer him. " Ah. Naruto-san. Thank you for coming." Spoke Hiashi who entered into the Council chambers, an exhausted look on his face as he set himself down in the clan head's seat. He was searching for his elder daughter Hinata to personally guard her in case she was taken, but he also found Naruto as well. Two birds with one stone.

"Not a problem. My boss told me just minutes ago something happened here." The blonde spoke while placing a comforting hand on Hinata's shpulder.

"Indeed. Hanabi… has gone missing. We believe that whatever is behind the previous events has struck again, much more aggressively. I have every member of the Side branch searching for her. I want to ask the Hokage for more aid in the search and issue an alert, but the Elders want me to keep things quiet until the last moment. I have to… strongly disagree with them." Explained the Clan head with narrowed eyes. His fists clenched hard.

"Mmm. I see your concerns. Were there any signs of violence from where Hanabi was taken?" the blonde asked in a professional manner.

"None that we could find. From what we could put together, my daughter was brushing her teeth as evidenced by the toothbrush on the floor, then something or someone just… whisked her away. There was another message as well. Whoever or whatever we're dealing with… they don't like the Elders. In the message it claimed 'The Elders will not have her'." The Clan head explained with a frown.

"The pieces are clicking into place Hiashi-san. I think I already have a good idea on the source of all this. But I need to confirm it. If I may ask… what happened to your wife?" the blonde asked while fingering his Scythe.

"My… my wife?" the Clan head asked in surprise, Hinata took notice of this too as she sniffled and listened intently.

"Yes. The old, err, I mean The Hokage told me about the Kumo incident. How the ambassador kidnapped Hinata-san, you killed the ambassador which caused a big fucking scandal, which lead to the death of your brother. But when I once asked him about your wife, Hinata's mother, he said that he didn't know the details behind her disappearance. Care to shed some light on the subject?" the Blonde asked with a critical eye.

"I… Hitomi was… my other half. We balanced each other out in more ways than one. She entrusted me with the care of our Clan, I entrusted her with our children. This… isn't easy for me to talk about Naruto-san. I know nothing of being a father. So I trained my daughters to be strong… or tried to. Hinata… has so much of her mother in her. That same kindness. Looking at her reminds me… of my wife. Some days… I think she might come back. My head knows she won't, but my heart still yearns for her." Hiashi rambled on, trying to avoid the blonde's question.

Hinata sniffled a bit, realizing why her father was so hard on her. She was a constant reminder of her mother, and it would pain him to lose her like he lost his wife. "Tou-sama, you… you wanted me and Hanabi to strong so we might be prepared against an unkind world. You can't be faulted for that." She spoke in a gentle voice. A small weight lifted off of the Clan head's shoulders a sense of reconciliation with his daughter taking place.

With a Small smile, the blonde got up from his seat and paced about the room for a spell. On the base of the walls in every corner were a set of seals, growing curious the blonde asked "Hiashi-san. What are these seals?"

"I can answer that! Those are privacy seals specifically made for the Hyuuga council chambers meant to block out sound and even the Byakugan. I placed them there myself." Spoke a new voice behind them revealing a certain Sannin.

"Jiraiya-san? This is… unexpected." Spoke Hiashi, putting on his poker face since he was somewhat irked by the Sannin barging in for no real reason.

"Jiraiya? As in the Frog Sannin?" Naruto asked, deliberately mixing up Frogs and Toads to irritate the Sannin.

"You… you shouldn't call my summons Frogs. They take great offence at that." The Sannin spoke with a small frown, then flipped it into a smile as he continued to speak "Anyway, it's Naruto Uzumaki right? I heard about how you're some big expert on Ghosts and Goblins. How about you drop the mumbo jumbo and come learn an A-rank Jutsu under my wing? It was personally developed by the Yondaime."

The blonde was silent for a few moments then spoke angrily "You know what? If nothing else, I'll take that Jutsu so I can shove it up your ass. Anko-chan told me alllllll about you. That you're a good for nothing pervert that rapes women."

"What?! That's not true! I haven't raped anyone!" the Sannin yelled out in his defense, surprised by the accusation.

"Oh no? You'd be surprised how often rapes go unreported. And wasn't it you who told Anko-chan that you'd seal off her Curse Mark if she slept with you? If that's not rape, then its certainly blackmail. And I HATE people who take advantage of a person in such a manner. Jiraiya of the Frogs. You are on my Shit list. And you better stay as far away from both me, and my female friends. Or I swear, I will personally castrate you, deep fry your genitals, and force feed them to you, make you puke it all up, then eat it again, shit it out, then eat it one more time." The blonde angrily threatened, all the while Hiashi was covering his daughters ears to protect her from hearing such an… ominous threat.

"But I run Konoha's spy network! And a famous and powerful Shinobi amongst Konoha's ranks! If you attack me then that'd be treason!" the Sannin yelped as he turned green in the face from the threat.

"I don't give a flying fuck if you were the Rikudou Sennin's bitch. Doesn't change the fact you have attempted to force yourself on someone close to me. Now get the fuck out of here, before I have half a mind to call my boss about you harassing me. Now why don't you do what you did before, and stay out of my life, drown yourself in booze and whore, and die in some backroom Hotel where they don't change the sheets after the couples have a tumble? You worthless piece of shit godfather?" the blonde ranted angrily, years of frustration boiling over, the breaking point being that his negligent Godfather just randomly tried to insert himself into the Genin's life when it was convenient for him or had an agenda of his own.

"Wait, how did you know about..?" the Sannin asked in surprise at the boy's knowledge.

"My boss told me. Now get the fuck out of here before we REALLY have a problem." The blonde warned, his patience nearly used up as the Sannin wisely chose to make a hasty retreat. Finally seeing the storm had passed, Hiashi released his daughter.

"My apologies you had to see that. It was… unbecoming of me." The blonde apologized since he allowed his temper to get the better of him.

"I understand. I heard rumors of Jiraiya attempting the Blackmail Anko-san, but I wasn't sure about the legitimacy behind it." Spoke the Clan head with narrowed eyes, his opinion of the Sannin hitting rock bottom.

Without a word further, the blonde resumed his professional stance then proceeded to knock on the walls using the old 'Shave and a haircut' trick. The Clan head and heiress raised an eyebrow at what the Genin was up to as he repeated the knock again. Then he knocked a third time… and he received a reply in the form of a slow knock replying in the 'Two bits' manner.

The replying knock came from the back wall, following the general direction of the noise, Naruto once again performed the 'Shave and a haircut' knock. Only to be replied once again by the slow reply of 'two bits'.

"Hiashi-san. Hinata-san. I'm about to crack this case wide open." Naruto spoke as he began tearing the wall down with his bare hands. It was at this moment the Hyuuga Elders entered inside and saw what the Jinchuuriki was doing. In a panic one of them shouted for the to stop what he was doing. Ignoring their pleas he tore off the remainder of the wall revealing a skeletal body wrapped tied in plastic.

Hinata wept as she realized… it was the remains of her mother. Hiashi however, had a look of shock, it then immediately changed to anger as he looked at the Elders. "Naruto-san. Please take my daughter outside. She doesn't need to see what comes next." Spoke the Clan head as several veins began to form and pulse, even without his Byakugan activated. With a nod, the Jinchuuriki ushered the heiress out.

They shut the doors behind them leaving the Elders alone with a furious Hiashi, who was now poised in the stance of the Gentle fist.

 **Meanwhile. With Raven.**

"A… temple?" asked purple haired girl with a raised eyebrow, as she and Four stood inside a temple. There was nothing truly remarkable about it to say the least.

The Shinigami however chuckled in amusement as she approached a brick wall, and proceeded to tap on a few bricks in a certain pattern. Then the wall split in two, sliding open it revealed an ethereal glowing portal. "Not just a temple. Step inside." The Shinigami spoke while winking with her orange eye.

Raven nodded as she followed the death goddess inside, there she was greeted by the sight of a huge library, walls filled with hundreds upon thousands of books. "You are looking at the greatest collection of artifacts, magic, jutsu, art, and such other things." Four spoke in a tone filled with pride.

As Raven looked about, she noticed that the library was in a circular shape, and that there was a railing in the center, on closer inspection she peered over and saw the Library was separated into numerous floors, down and down they went, until she couldn't see the rest down a pitch black hole.

"I have everything listed and categorized. The farther down you go, the more dangerous the items. There are some things in here that could cause entire nations to vanish, that could blur the boundaries of life and death, and even rend and twist reality as we know it. This place has no 'official' name. But I like to call it Sanctuary." The Shinigami explained as she ran a hand through her hair.

"And you keep everything underneath a temple?" Raven asked in a skeptical manner with a hint of sarcasm.

"Who said we were under the temple?" Four asked while summoning a wine filled glass from thin air.

The Empath raised an eyebrow for a few moments before a realization hit her. "Of course. This is a pocket dimension you created." She spoke, gaining insight to how the place was hidden.

"Got it in one. Clever girl. It also helps that I can freely move the door to wherever I so choose. Only myself, and my Bookkeeper Kesa-chan know how to find it. Soon you will too as well as Naruto-kun. Feel free to explore. There are thousands of pieces here. It would take me at least thirty years to list off everything I have gathered so far." The Shinigami rambled a bit while sipping her wine.

"Interesting. But why collect all of these things?" Raven asked out of curiosity.

"Hey, I collect the souls of the deceased as my job. Plus I give babies their first breaths of life when they are born. I am a natural born collector of things. Besides, someone needs to keep all these goodies under lock and key, away from the hands of mortals." Four explained in a half joking and half serious manner. She sipped her wine again then snapped her fingers to summon forth a mirror. She then chuckled in amusement and spoke "I think you'll find this piece interesting."

Raising an Eyebrow, the half demon walked forward and looked into the mirror for a few moments. Her eyes widened a bit as she cast a shocked expression at the Shinigami "Where did you get this?"

"Oh that? I found it in a pawn shop in Wave country a year ago. Owner said it was a weird mirror he found. Claimed it was cursed and all that jazz. I checked it out… and found it was actually a gateway to someone's mind. I bought it and brought it here. I didn't realize it was yours until you appeared in my little Naruto-kun's lap." Four explained in a tone of amusement.

Raven however gulped dryly. If this mirror was here… then what else could possibly be kept in Sanctuary? "Do you… have anything that could kill a Demon lord?" she asked while looking up at the Death goddess.

"Mmm. I might." Four replied, her eyes glowing in an ethereal manner.

"You might? You just said that you have weapons and artifacts that could bend reality! Surely you must have something in here that could end the life of my father!" Raven asked almost desperately, her emotions slipping due to this discovery.

Four merely flicked the girl on the head, right on the jewel planted on her forehead. Waving a finger the Shinigami spoke "Now now. I seldom let anything walk out of here for fear of whatever items might fall into the wrong hands. As I said, feel free to explore, but if you try and take anything… believe me. I will know about it." She spoke with a warning then vanished out of existence.

For a few moments Raven contemplated about stealing some ancient weapon then using it to blast Trigon out of existence but then… could she trust herself with a weapon of mass destruction? Could she truly keep it out of the wrong hands or trust herself to put it away after she fulfilled its purpose? On another note, this would… breach the Covenant she made with Naruto. She entrusted him with her father's destruction, trying to take matters in her own hands went against it. Still, the Shinigami mentioned that this was a library of magic and the like. Perhaps she could learn something new?

With a small smile she took the mirror and located the living quarters at the top of Sanctuary. Now… it was time to hit the books and see if she could find anything of interest.

Meanwhile, Four was in her office, sealing away the Hannya mask that could summon her. Making sure that nothing could ever touch such an artifact ever again. The telephone on her desk began ringing. With a small smile she picked it up and answered "Yes? What is it Mary?"

The voice of Bloody Mary spoke for a few moments alerting Four of a new development. With a scowl the Shinigami thanked the Mirror phantom for the news and hanged up. "Harassing my precious Naruto-kun eh? Well now Jiraiya. I think a fitting punishment is due for a man who would take advantage of women." She spoke to herself after retrieving an apple sized Black pearl from her desk. A mischievous grin on her face.

 **With Naruto.**

Naruto sat quietly, his former Academy classmate sitting close by as she stared ahead into empty space. Her mind still processing the gruesome discovery of her mother's body in the walls. Her hands clenched tightly, the fingernails threatening to draw blood.

Finally she relaxed slightly and spoke "Naruto-kun… thank you for everything you have done. My memories of my mother are faint but… I remembered that everyone loved her. The Side branch especially. Father once told me while she was pregnant with Hanabi-san, my father couldn't even get close to her, and she couldn't even get up from bed to make herself breakfast because the Side branch members constantly surrounded her. I remember a little of that. It was funny seeing her protest. Now… maybe her Spirit can be at peace."

When she had finished speaking she slid up closer to him. A blush on her cheeks as she spoke while obviously straining not to stutter "I can't possibly thank you enough. Naruto-kun, if there's anything I can do for you… I'm all yours. I want to be with you. I…" she was silenced by the blonde who pressed a finger to her lips.

"I hate to break your little heart. But allow me to say, you're not my type. I'm not interested in meek little girls who need a crutch. But still, I'll give you a fair shake. If you can become a better Kunoichi and a more mature person, I MIGHT consider going out with you. I have been aware of your crush for a while now. But I don't wanna have to hold your hand all the time." He spoke in a even tone.

His words felt like a blow to her body. It hurt, but it also brought a sense of… clarity. While he was at the Academy she didn't help him much if at all. She deserved to be rejected like this, but at the same time, he was offering her a chance. She could only nod, determined to become a better woman and Kunoichi, if not for Naruto's sake, then for hers and her little sisters.

"Hey. Whatcha doing?" asked the voice of Hanabi behind them. When the two Genin turned they saw the sight of Hinata's younger sister holding a plate of cookies in one hand and a glass of milk in the other. Her face riddled with crumbs.

"HANABI! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!" yelled Hinata while hugging her little sister. Her developing bust threatening to smother the younger girl. Finally she released the younger girl to let her soeak.

"I don't know. I was scared at first. It was dark and cold. And I couldn't find the way out even with my Byakugan. But then whatever took me gave me milk and cookies. Gingerbread. Then… it just… let me go. And I found myself here again." The young girl explained who was clearly as confused as they were.

"Gingerbread? That… that… was mother's favorite. Gingerbread and cinnamon buns were her favorite." Spoke a bewildered Hinata, her wide eyes showing her shock.

"Heh. I see. So the Elders had their own agendas, and murdered your mother Hitomi for them. Keeping her body hidden inside the last place everyone expected. Then her Spirit became distressed when you two were targeted by the Elders. In order to throw off their plans she kidnapped Hanabi-chan for her own protection. Heh. Open and shut case here. Though… I still can't help but wonder why she hasn't yet revealed herself to me." The blonde mused while summarizing events.

"HEEEEEEEEEELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Screamed a female voice. When they looked in the direction of the scream, a white haired female came bounding up to the blonde, her large breasts bouncing as she ran. And… she was dressed ins the exact same manner as Jiraiya was a short while ago.

"Who the hell are you? You some hooker that ripped off the Frog Sannin? You his twin sister? Or are you one of those impersonator types?" the Blonde asked while scratching his cheek.

"NO! IT'S ME YOU IDIOT! JIRAIYA THE TOAD MOUNTAIN SAGE!" she screamed out angrily while childishly stomping her feet. At this revelation both Naruto and Hinata's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. Regaining some of his composure the blonde placed a hand on the white haired woman's breast and gave it a squeeze.

She let out a yelp and slapped his hand away yelling "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? I'M NOT INTO GUYS FEELING ME UP DAMN IT!"

Naruto shrugged and casually answered "Just making sure it was real and not a Henge. What the hell happened to you?"

The Sannin sighed and answered "Well… it went something like this."

 **One hour ago.**

"Damn brat. He has way too much of his mother in him." Growled Jiraiya as he drank some more sake to quell his frustration at the boy's attitude. Then he felt a slender hand that could only belong to a female. He slowly looked to his left and found one of the most gorgeous and exotic looking woman he had ever seen. Pale and creamy flesh. Silvery hair that seemed to have gold dust in it. A pair of beautiful different colored eyes… and she had a body that could match even Tsunade.

"Buy me a drink?" she asked in a sensual tone. Her orange eyes winking at him.

"But of course! What'll you be having?" he asked, already having perverted fantasies about this woman, and using her as materials for his books.

"Mmm. I'm more of a Wine person. But I don't mind a good scotch." She answered while resting her arms against the bar. The Sannin ordered a bottle of scotch for her and poured some of the liquid into a glass.

"So what might your name be? I'm Jiraiya of the Sannin." He spoke trying to act smooth.

"Look at you. Big bad Shinobi. I am number Four." She replied in a playful manner while sipping at her drink.

"That's an unlucky number. Real unlucky. It's bad luck to call yourself that." He warned her with a small grimace. Though he wondered why she went by such a name.

"Maybe I like to live dangerously. Maybe I don't believe, much less fear such a superstition. Does it matter?" she asked her blue eye almost glowing in the light as she smiled and licked at the fangs jutting from her lips.

"Ohhhh. Adventurous type eh? I like that. Where you Four-chan?" he asked while slowly snaking a hand towards her generous bust.

"Mmm. Nowhere really. I travel around a lot. And I just love to collect all manner of things. Like this little bauble." She replied while revealing a apple sized Black Pearl.

"Ohhh. Never seen one that big. Where'd you get that?" he asked out of genuine curiosity, his perversion put aside for the moment.

"This? I bought it from some flea market in a backwater town some time ago. This is no ordinary pearl though. Some centuries ago, a trickster plucked this pear from the depths of the ocean and turned it into a tool for his pranks. This bauble can make anything and everything into its opposite. However, this tool had so much potential for chaos. It could turn a a desert into a tundra. The weak into the strong. A benevolent ruler into a Tyrant. Old into young. And so on. Quite an interesting item actually. I sometimes use it for my own enjoyment." She explained as she rubbed the large pearl in her hands.

"That's interesting, but I'm not the type that interested in fairy tales." He spoke in a bored tone, wanting to take this woman to a love hotel and fuck her already.

"Oh no? You should pay more attention to such things. Here. How about a demonstration?" she asked with a twisted smile, then in a flash of light Jiraiya found himself into the form of a woman.

The Sannin felt up the new female form and screamed out "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO ME?" in a panic the Sannin began performing a Kai to release whatever Genjutsu this was.

"It isn't an illusion. This is your new reality. I know all about you Jiraiya. Your lack of respect for women. Your attempts to force yourself on them. Your lack of respect for a woman's privacy. And most recently a lack of respect for Naruto-kun's freedom. So I inflicted the most suitable punishment I could think of. Jiraiya of the Sannin, I hereby curse you to live out your days as a woman. To be honest I thought about castration… but this would be much less bloody and much more amusing. Have fun Jiraiya-chan. Enjoy the new body." She spoke then with a snap of her fingers, she vanished out of existence. Leaving the changed Sannin to bolt out the door in search of Naruto, leaving behind a stunned group of bystanders.

All across the Elemental nations… women everywhere began to celebrate. Why? They didn't know for certain. But they felt that an enemy of women had just been destroyed, in more ways than one.

 **End flashback.**

At the end of the story, Naruto burst out laughing. This was way better than what he had in mind for the Sannin. This was absolute poetic justice! "STOP LAUGHING AT ME DAMN IT! NOW FIX THIS! THAT WEIRD LADY MENTIONED YOU! I KNOW YOU'RE INVOLVED!" Jiraiya yelled angrily while stomping her foot like a child having a tantrum.

"Nope. I don't think so. I like you better like that. Such delicious Irony. Spending your life making women miserable, and now you're a woman. Karma's a bitch right?" the blonde asked with a grin, not bothering to hide his amusement.

Groaning the Sannin decided that it would be a good idea to switch tactics. "Please! Tell that Four lady to fix this! I can pay you! I have money!" She almost begged.

"No thanks. I can't be bought with money. I don't need it. My boss covers all my bills and expenses." The blonde replied in an uninterested tone. His pinky finger cleaning his ear.

"Jutsu! I can teach you jutsu! I know an original A-rank made by the Yondaime Hokage!" pleaded the Sannin as she sank to her knees.

"No thanks. My boss promised me all the Jutsu I'd need. And she doesn't make false promises." The blonde answered, once again turning Jiraiya down flat.

"Is this about Anko? You're still angry about her? I can help her Curse mark! I can help fix it! Honest! Just change me back and I'll fix it! I won't bother her ever again!" The white haired Sannin begged, hoping to appease the Jinchuuriki.

"Not possible now. I already took care of that pesky mark. How? Well… that's a trade secret." The whiskered teen spoke while seemingly caressing his Scythe. The eyes of the skull glowing a faint shade of blue.

"You…how… no… never mind. YOUR PARENTS! I CAN TELL YOU ALL ABOUT YOUR PARENTS!" the Sannin yelled in a final attempt to regain her lost manhood.

A faint growl escaped the Blonde's lips. All throughout this exchange, the Hyuuga sisters remained quiet. Watching this unfold in silence. For a moment Naruto said nothing, but then he gave off a shark like grin as he spoke "Now, if I were missing half my brain, and were around in an orange jumpsuit screaming 'Believe it' and how I was gonna be Hokage… that might have worked. Hell the promise of Justu and ramen would have worked. But now? That's not gonna fly.

Thing is, the only reason you approached me before was because you had an ulterior motive. Now you're being punished for your sins, and you're trying to weasel your way out so you can get your undersized penis back and start banging whores again. Guess what? You're gonna stay like that and I'm going to enjoy watching your misery. You have nothing I want, and I am not for any reason giving you back your junk."

At the end of his rant, the now female Sannin looked on the verge of tears as she asked "Is there absolutely anything I can say, do, or give you to convince you otherwise?"

"Short of giving me back my childhood? No. You can't. Still, gotta say, you have a nice body. You'd do well turning tricks with inexperienced virgins looking to fuck a mature woman." The blonde teased at the end with a devilish grin.

"I AM NOT INTO MEN! I AM A NATURAL BORN SUPER PERVERT THAT LOVES WOMEN!" screamed the Sannin in denial.

"You say that now. But eventually you're gonna have that itch that needs scratching. And while there's nothing inherently wrong with being a pervert… if you truly loved women then you'd give them some respect. The only times I don't respect a woman is if I feel they don't deserve it. Like my teammate for one example. Or soon to be former teammate. Anyway, it's been fun, but frankly… you bore me now. See ya around!" with that said the blonde left towards the Hokage tower, long since overdue to meet with his team there.

All the while with Hinata and Hanabi… they both watched in mildly sadistic amusement.

 **Elsewhere. In Kiri.**

Shizukesa hummed a small tune as she dug into the dirt and mud, a shovel in her hands as she pried the earth away. Standing next to her was the Spirit of Rin Nohara who was giddily bouncing on her feet. "This is definitely it! I can sense my remains down there!" yelled the Medic nin with a smilr.

If the Bookkeeper heard her current company, she didn't shown it as she pulled away the remaining earth with her bare hands. There below the ground was the skeletal remains of Rin herself. Without hesitation, and having become numb to such things, she snapped off a finger bone. Having claimed what her subordinate asked for, she packed up her things and proceeded to leave the area.

But was met by the sounds of pained moaning. Raising a curious eyebrow she investigated and found a woman with auburn hair, lying in the mud. A large wound in her side. She was still conscious and trying to put pressure on the bleeding.

Silently the girl walked up to the injured Kunoichi, her crimson eyes staring down at her. The woman turned her head to the side, gasping and wheezing. She swallowed dryly and spoke "Please… help me…. I… was betrayed… didn't see it coming… bleeding won't stop… please help me… I can't let so many… die at the hands of a mad… Mizukage."

With cold , unblinking eyes the Shinigami's Bookkeeper pulled out a small notebook. Skimming through the pages she at last came upon the entry of Mei Terumi. Future Mizukage, devoted and borderline fanatically loyal supporter of the fallen Uzu, and future mate of Naruto. Snapping her booklet shut, she leaned down and picked the woman up in a bridal carry.

Mei was surprised by the small girls strength, but she couldn't protest due to her waning strength. "Wh… where are… you taking me?" she asked as her vision turned blurry.

Shizukesa said nothing as she continued carrying this woman away. She would be useful for Naruto later on. Though in all honesty… she loathed sharing. If she had her way, Naruto would only belong to her. She would take care of him and his needs every day. While she was forced to share… that didn't mean she couldn't occasionally take advantage and show the various females their proper place.

All the while Rin followed quietly behind the two. Looking forward to soon working with Naruto.

 **Back in Konoha.**

Naruto had entered the Hokage office where Team Seven was waiting. He offered a smile and spoke "Sorry. Had some important business with the Hyuuga's. Plus a bit of personal business with someone who got their just desserts." This placated both Anko and Kakashi. Sakura and Sasuke weren't as understanding, but a glare from the Snake mistress silenced them.

"Ah. Naruto. Excellent. Now that you're here, I planned on issuing another C-rank mission to Team Seven after the success of the previous. Your mission is pretty straight forward. You're going to be bodyguards for a Bridge builder." The Hokage announced with a small smile. Naruto wasn't paying much attention, though he did register the keywords 'C-rank' and 'bodyguards' which was good enough for him.

What truly caught his attention was the ghostly form of Mikoto hovering over Sasuke. And by the look on her face, she looked angry. Very angry. Like she wanted her son to spontaneously combust just so she could later piss all over his ashes.

"So this will be my protection? They don't seem like much." Spoke the somewhat slurred voice of the client in question. Naruto rolled his eyes and appeared behind the Bridge builder with a throwing dagger pressed against the client's throat.

"Don't test me. I'll pass every time." The Blonde spoke in an amused tone. Once again another Civilian had underestimated him. And he wasn't taking shit.

"Ulp. My mistake. Sorry if I offended you Genin-san." The Client spoke nervously, wondering how the boy got behind him so quickly.

With a smile the blonde put away the dagger and replied "It's fine. But you may wanna think twice about judging someone by their appearance. Especially when it comes to a Shinobi. The names Naruto Uzumaki. The scarecrow is Kakashi Hatake. The hot babe in the trench coat is my personal property Anko Mitarashi. The pink haired one is Sakura Haruno. And the Emo with the stick up his ass is Sasuke Uchiha. Watch out for the last two, they're basket cases."

"WHO'RE YOU CALLING BASKET CASES?" the two yelled Angrily. Anko however was chuckling in amusement at how her apprentice introduced her. She certainly wasn't against being his property. Though she wondered about getting a doggy collar, or simply tattooing his name across her ass to prove his ownership.

"Erm. Right. I'm Tazuna. Kakashi was it? That Naruto kid always like this?" asked the Bridge builder while sweating at the blonde's presence. The kid honestly scared the crap out of him now.

"Actually… this is probably one of his better moods. Normally he makes crass comments about your penis size when he wants to screw with your head. Anyway, Team Seven, pack up some equipment for the trip. We'll be working this job for a while. And Naruto? Please don't threaten the client again just to prove a point, and please bring that Raven girl from before too. It's not safe for her in Konoha." Kakashi spoke with an eye smile. Though his comment about the Jinchuuriki's crass attitude made him sweat-drop.

"Sure sure. Later bitches." The Blonde replied while forming the peace sign with his fingers, then vanished in a puff of smoke. Unaware that the next chapter of his life was about to begin.

 **End chapter three.**

 **Omake: We meet again.**

A few minutes after leaving the Hokage tower and retrieving Raven, who had stepped out of the Tower to gather some clothes for herself, the two were now buying supplies for the road, mostly in the way of rations and food.

"Gotta say Raven… I like your choice of clothes. They show off a loooot of leg." The Jinchuuriki teased. The Empath blushed slightly but said nothing as she purchased some tea leaves. The Shinigami was surprisingly generous to her employees, all expenses covered.

"Ummmm… Carly? Why are you in the buff?" Asked a female voice in the next aisle.

"Oh this? I made a bet with your sister in law Emily to stay in the woods… while naked. And… now I'm here. Somehow. Aren't you supposed to be in Germany on business with your brother?" asked the woman addressed as Carly.

The other one, who is known as Kiana shrugged and answered "I was… and somehow I ended up here… and I'm shopping with you… I'm as confused as the readers I think." The two ebony skinned merely shrugged since the situation didn't make sense to them either.

"Excuse me? Ladies? Do I… know you from somewhere?" asked one Naruto as he tilted his head to the side in curiosity.

Both Kiana and Carly exchanged looks, the former answering in a hesitant manner "Ummmm. No? You don't?"

Naruto crossed his arms over his chest, eyes narrowing in suspicion "I swear I know you two from somewhere. And I'm pretty good with faces. Did we… maybe meet on an island or something like that?" at his question, warning bells rang inside the girls heads.

"What do we do?! We can't let him know that kinda stuff! Big boy said 'bad things would happen'!" whispered Carly in a panicked tone. Seeing no other options, Kiana called for them to run. They leapt through the stores window and ran off into the streets of Konoha, vanishing from the Jinchuuriki's sight.

"Okay… that wad a little weird. I could almost swear I knew them. They looked so familiar." Naruto mumbled to himself while scratching his head. With a shrug, he decided to drop this little mystery and continue about his business with Raven. It was almost time for the Wave mission.

 **End omake.**

 **A/N: Yeah. Fuck ton of Jiraiya bashing. I had considered killing him off… but then I figured why not take away his pride, dignity, and manhood all in one go? Hahahah. Anyway, please leave lots of reviews.**

 **Next update: Uzumaki Classroom. (As promised to my Dyke girlfriend Carly. Aka Bum Bums.)**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Another update, another chapter. Expect to see some new story ideas of mine posted soon. And you know the drill, please leave lots of reviews. And since someone asked, I'll add in a Bleach character or two.**

 **Chapter four: Demons clash! Naruto vs Zabuza.**

"Hey Sasuke! I think I finally figured out what your problem is… YOUR BALLS HAVEN'T DROPPED YET!" Naruto declared rather loudly, deliberately trying to provoke Sasuke into a fight for his own amusement since its been a long trek towards Wave.

Kakashi groaned, eagerly awaiting the day a replacement was found for Naruto. Much as he liked the boy's talents and his antics were amusing… it was a tiresome chore to play as mediator between Naruto and Sasuke. "Now Naruto, is it really necessary to torment Sasuke by questioning his masculinity?" the copy nin asked with an eye smile.

"Necessary? No, it's not. But it sure is fun." The Jinchuuriki answered as though it were the most simple thing in the world. Making Kakashi sigh while Anko was laughing her ass off. As they continued walking, Naruto glanced at a puddle on the roadside. His eyes narrowed slightly at the poor camouflage.

"Naruto I…" Raven tried to warn him since she sensed two individuals with hostile intent, but was cut off by her master who spoke "I know. The puddle. Keep Tazuna-san safe."

The Empath nodded in understanding, impressed by how sharp he was. Glad she had chosen wisely in making a covenant with him. Out from the puddle emerged two figures, but before they could strike, Naruto vanished in a blurb of motion and kicked one of the figures away. The two were linked together by a type of chain, designed to ensnare then eviscerate their intended victims which made both fly off and land into the ground.

"What do we have here? Bandits looking for a score? No? Too well equipped and Chunin level chakra signatures. Ninjas eh? For us? Or the Bridge builder?" The Jinchuuriki asked as he drew a pair of throwing knives. The Demon brothers glared at this punk ass Genin for interrupting them. If they failed then Zabuza would have their heads!

They leapt to their feet and disconnected the chain so they could move more efficiently. But they found themselves stuck in mid air. Unable to move their limbs. On closer inspection… they found that they were trapped in an intricate web of wires that now ensnared them. "You… HOW DID YOU SET THIS UP?" asked one of the brothers.

"Mmm? Oh the wires? Pretty shoddy work actually. Had to set it up in a rush when I saw your puddle. Next time, try a fallen log or something. Although… there might not be a next time if you fail to tell me who sent you and why." The blonde spoke as he holstered his knives, his fingers twitched slightly which resulted in the wires tightening and digging into their flesh.

Sweat poured down what was visible of visible of their faces. But Gozu merely chuckled and spoke "You really think you can threaten us? You don't have the balls to carry them out!" this earned a mere sigh from the blonde as his thumb twitched, causing a wire to slice off the head of Meizu, the other brother.

"MEIZU! YOU BASTARD! YOU KILLED MY BROTHER!" yelled the remaining brother angrily as he struggled against the wires in vain.

"Sure I did. What if it? It's not like his death will weigh in my conscience. I gave you a chance to talk and possibly live, but then you tried to 'call my bluff'. Thing is… I don't make idle threats or empty promises. But now I'm just being a chatterbox." The Jinchuuriki rambled as he clenched his fist, which made the wires shred the brothers to pieces, leaving only the heads intact.

Collecting the brother's heads, he stored them away in a sealing scroll to later collect on their bounties. He didn't truly need the money since his boss covered all his expenses, but he could probably donate it to a good charity or save it for a rainy day if need be.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU BAKA! YOU MURDERED THEM!" screeched Sakura in disgust, her face a dark shade of green from the gruesome display. Sasuke was slightly sickened as well, if only because the blood and gore reminded him of the Uchiha massacre. Raven stood idly by, understanding that this was to be expected of someone who served the Shinigami.

Anko and Kakashi has more neutral expressions. They both knew Naruto was skilled, but the latter didn't know that Naruto could kill so casually. The whiskered teen merely replied to the pinkette "Sure I did. What of it? They were our enemies which also threatened our client. So I killed them. Plain and simple. Tazuna-san? There something you wanna tell us? I suggest you be truthful. If my associate Raven senses so much as a hint of a lie, we're dropping the mission and leaving you here."

The two Jonin nodded in agreement, misinformation of mission details from a client was a pretty serious offence after all. The Bridge builder sighed deeply and adjusted his glasses before beginning to explain "All right. I'll be straight with you. The truth of the matter is… there's a certain man who wants me dead. He is called Gato."

"Gato? Like the Shipping company?" Anko asked, recognizing the name.

"That's right. In Wave country we don't have a Shinobi village. Never needed one since we're an island Nation. Our own natural defense… became our weakness. Gato took control of our docks and ports, putting us in a stranglehold, if you control our docks then you control everything. I am attempting to build a bridge to connect us to the mainland and break Gato's hold. However, without Shinobi protection, I won't last a week." Tazuna explained in a somber tone, ashamed he had to lie in order to get help.

"I see. I understand everything now. Everyone… we're continuing the mission!" Naruto proclaimed with a large grin.

"DON'T DECIDE SOMETHING LIKE THAT ON YOUR OWN!" Sakura yelled in distress, not wishing to be put in an early grave because of Naruto's bold and brash attitude.

The Jinchuuriki waved off the fangirl. And spoke with a large grin "We have two Jonin with us. Plus we have myself and Raven. I think we can handle it." At this the two Jonin looked at each other and gave a brief nod of agreement.

"All right then. We're continuing on." The Jonin announced with an eye smile. Prompting them to continue the march to Wave country. So far, the rest of the trip remained uneventful, aside from Naruto making fun of Sasuke's sexual orientation or him having not gone through puberty yet. Much to the Uchiha's annoyance.

"My feet hurt! Can't we stop for a minute?" whined Sakura, once again proving what a burden she was for the team.

"We already did five minutes ago." Commented Raven in a blank manner. This girl was supposed to be a Kunoichi? How ludicrous.

"She's right Sakura. We must continue on. The more time we waste out here, the more likely we are to encounter the enemy." Kakashi explained in a simple manner, having gotten used to the group's antics. Suddenly a quiet voice whispered "Behind you." Upon hearing such a chilling voice, Kakashi felt some years of his like drain away, a cold sweat formed as he instinctively prepared a Lightning Blade, to skewer the offender.

When he turned he saw it was that Shizukesa girl that hanged around Naruto, he was too late to stop his jutsu from piercing her chest, however she grabbed his arm causing a small crater to form under them as the jutsu dispelled, then with minimal effort, she chucked the masked Jonin into the trees.

"Ah! Kesa-chan! You're back!" the blonde spoke excitedly, scooping his Manager up in a hug. In the background, Sasuke, Sakura, and Tazuna all wondered how a little girl snuck up on an elite Jonin like Kakashi.

Speaking of which, the Jonin himself emerged from the trees, wondering what that feeling of dread he received was. For some reason, he recalled that Naruto mentioned the red eyed girl had a 'scary voice'. Was that what he meant? Or was there something deeper involved?

"Oi! Kesa-chan! Did you bring me any souvenirs?" the Jinchuuriki asked in a giddy tone. With a nod, his manager pulled the desired finger bone token of Rin Nohara from her Monks cloak. Which the whiskered teen pocketed with a deep nod of thanks. Then she pulled forward a large sack… with some movement inside.

"Ohh! What's that? Is that a Chupacabra?" the blonde asked, hoping it truly was one.

"A Chupawhatnow?" asked Tazuna in confusion, the name sounded familiar but he wasn't an expert on such things.

"Naruto-kun claims to have seen a Chupacabra in the Forest of Death in Konoha. Hah! Way to pull people's legs Naruto-kun!" Anko teased with a cheeky grin, poking at her apprentices whisker marks.

"Oi. I know what I saw." The blonde quipped while crossing his arms. Shizukesa let the opening of the sack loose to expose it's contents. Inside was a certain Kiri Kunoichi.

"HOLY SHIT! YOU BROUGHT ME A GORGEOUS WOMAN AS A SOUVENIR? BEST MANAGER EVER!" Naruto yelled while crying out anime tears. The 'souvenir' sweat-dropped at his antics slightly and then spoke "Hello. Is this little girl your friend?"

The blonde smiled and spoke in a casual tone "Yep. She's my manager. My name's Naruto. What's yours?"

The auburn haired woman smiled and answered "I am Mei Terumi. Erm, how do I put this? Your friend kidnapped me to be perfectly honest."

"Wait… SHE KIDNAPPED A FOREIGN KUNOICHI? THIS COULD CAUSE SOME KIND OF DIPLOMATIC INCIDENT BETWEEN VILLAGES!" screeched Sakura while tugging at her hair in disbelief. Not wanting to lose her headband over something like this.

Mei cringed at the shrill voice. Wondering how this girl even became a Kunoichi. She cleared her throat and began to explain "Actually, I don't think you need to worry. You see, I am of the Rebel faction in Kiri. Our Mizukage went off the deep end and began butchering people bearing bloodlines, regardless if they were Shinobi or not. I was betrayed and wounded in battle… then your little friend here kidnapped me."

"You have my apologies Mei-chan. Kesa-chan tends to do whatever she wants. Kesa-chan? Would you be so kind as to let her go?" the blonde asked while rubbing his Manager's head. Instead of releasing the poor Kunoichi, she shook her head.

"What do you mean 'No'? If she doesn't want to be here then we don't have the right to keep her prisoner." Naruto spoke with a small frown. In response, his manager kicked him hard on the leg, making him yelp and hop up and down on his uninjured leg.

Shizukesa then shoved the Kunoichi into the Blonde's arms and walked off, disappearing from view. "Wow. She's quick." Anko commented in surprise. She knew bits and pieces about the girl, but her boundless strength inside of the small body was still surprising.

"Ummm. Naruto-kun? Would you please release me?" Mei asked, relieved that the silent girl had finally left. Maybe now she could finally get back to Kiri and help with the Rebellion's efforts.

"Sure thing. Kesa-chan was acting a bit weird. Sorry about that." He apologized and pulled her from the sack, he then proceeded to untie her wrists and legs from her bonds.

"What the hell are you doing Dobe?" Sasuke asked with his trademark scowl.

"Can't you tell? I'm releasing this very nice lady so she can back wherever she came from. We have no reason to keep her prisoner." The blonde spoke as he continued to untie the Kiri Kunoichi. However, the knots were quite intricate in nature so he drew one of his throwing knives to cut her loose.

"Hn. Weren't you paying attention Dobe? She said she was with the Rebels in Kiri! It stands to reason she must have a bloodline." Sasuke noted with a deepening scowl.

,Oh my god! He has a brain! Sasuke actually has a functioning brain! And he finally noticed a woman!" Naruto yelled out while feigning shock at the fact he made such an observation.

"STOP MOCKING ME LOSER! LAST I CHECKED YOU DON'T HAVE A CLAN!" yelled the Uchiha in rage, as he jumped on the blonde while trying to throttle him. Kakashi and Anko immediately stepped in to separate the two, and avoid them killing each other.

The Snake mistress sighed and spoke to her apprentice "Naruto-kun. You know I love you and everything, but could you please refrain from provoking Sasuke? As funny as it is to hear you make jokes about his penis, I don't wanna have to tell the Civilian council that you ended up killing their precious Uchiha… regardless if it was self defense. If you behave yourself the rest of the way, Anko-sama will provide… special services."

"Now you're talking my language Anko-chan. Or should I call you Sensei during that time?" he asked in a flirtatious manner.

"Mmm. Depends on my mood. I like to dabble in the rough stuff." She quipped with a saucy grin.

"My my Naruto-kun. You have some interesting friends." Mei spoke with a small twinkle in her eye.

"What can I say? I'm good at making friends. Especially of the female variety. Now you can call Naruto Uzumaki your friend too." He spoke with a large grin. A question mark appeared over him as the auburn haired woman now had a dumbstruck look on her face.

"Did… you… say… your name… was… Uzumaki?" she asked in slow and breathless voice.

"Yeah. Why?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. Then, by sheer force of will, Mei ripped apart her bonds and bowed towards the blonde, her head planted hard against the ground as she yelled "PLEASE TAKE ME AS YOUR DISCIPLE NARUTO-SAMA!"

"Eh?" was the collective response of everyone excluding Mei. The Auburn haired woman lunged forward and grabbed Naruto's hand pulling it into your cleavage "As a proud member of the Terumi clan, I hereby pledge myself to you Naruto-sama!" she proclaimed with tears leaking down her face, joy filling her at the fact she had found a real Uzumaki. How did she know he was for real? The animosity towards those of Senju or Uchiha descent. That was obvious from the jump.

"ANOTHER ONE?! WHAT IS WITH YOU AND WOMEN?" yelled Sakura, pointing an accusatory finger at the blonde.

"Dunno. Maybe it's the whisker marks?" the Jinchuuriki asked in an innocent tone.

"Riiiiiight. Anyway, Mei-san, if you're going to support us, or at the very least Naruto for our mission, I think it would be helpful to know what you can do." Kakashi spoke, trying to get past the absurdity of the situation and move on towards their goal.

Mei ignored the Jonin and was eyeing Raven up and down instead, noting that her legs were completely able to be seen. "What's this? Are you Naruto-sama's concubine?" she asked out of curiosity, grinning at the probability of competition.

Raven blushed furiously, even with her years of training and temperance, there were some things that could throw her off. And being randomly asked if she was a concubine? That was a new one for her. She slipped her hood up and turned around and began chanting under her breath to calm herself. "Ohhhh. This is going to be fun!" cheered Mei with a hearty laugh.

"Oh great. ANOTHER weirdo." Whine Sakura as she hanged her head in dismay.

"Weirdest thing I see here is your washboard body." Naruto quipped, making the fangirl yell out in anger. Yep. This was all completely normal for these Konoha Shinobi.

 **Later**.

"Sooooooo where are we going?" Mei asked as she walked down the road with the Konoha Shinobi, more particularly with Naruto. Anko had a possessive hand on her apprentice, much as she appreciated some competition, she had known Naruto longer and wasn't about to let him go. Raven however chose to keep her distance. She couldn't risk losing control over her emotions and a feeling of jealously was already sprouting.

"You mean you followed us without even asking?" Tazuna asked with a large sweat-drop forming on his brow.

"Mmmm. I supposed I did. Oh well. Doesn't matter. I'll go anywhere Naruto-sama does." She replied in a simple tone of voice, showing that she didn't really care.

"Tch. What a cheat. That Naruto has no idea how good he has it with women. You'd think she'd focus on guys more her age." The Bridge builder mumbled under his breath.

Unknown to him Mei heard bits of what he said, and it sounded like 'What a cheat… That Naruto… no… good… with women… she'd focus… on guys… her age.' A thick tic-mark formed on her brow as she thought in horror 'ADULTERY?'

Clearing her throat she gave a sickly sweet smile and spoke in a tone that was mixed with honey and venom "Client-san? Shut up or I'll kill you." At that the Bridge builder flinched and screamed in his mind 'What did I say?'

So far, the rest of the way to Wave had been uneventful. And Naruto cut back on his mockery of Sasuke… and instead turned it on Sakura. "I'm curious Sakura. And I've been meaning to settle a bet with Kiba for awhile. Let's say you succeed in hooking up with Sasuke, then what? You gonna pop out some little brats for him? I doubt you two would be very good parental figures." He asked in a teasing tone. Already picturing Sasuke not giving two shits about his kid(s).

Elsewhere, in an alternate timeline. A certain Spectacled Uchiha sneezed. "SCREW YOU NARUTO-BAKA!" The pinkette yelled in anger. Instead of teasing the fangirl further, he drew a throwing knife and tossed it into the bushes a small 'thunk' sound occuring.

On inspection, it was revealed that a white rabbit had fainted from shock as the knife was just centimeters above its head, planted firmly into the tree. "NARUTO! LOOK WHAT YOU DID! YOU COULD HAVE KILLED THAT POOR RABBIT!" Sakura yelled out and cradled the poor animal in her arms.

"Oi. Isn't there something wrong with this picture? That's a snow bunny… so why is it's fur white in the SUMMER?" Naruto asked in a rhetorical manner, already figuring out that this bunny was used for a substitution.

The sound of steel cutting the air rang out, with a smirk the blonde drew his scythe and deflected the incoming object, which was revealed to be some type of Zanbatou. With it successfully deflected, the blade's course was altered and sent flying into a tree, where it was firmly planted. Then, a man appeared, standing on the Zanbatou's handle.

"I know that guy! Hey! Zabuza! It's been awhile!" yelled Mei who was quite cheerily waving at the now identified swordsman.

"Mei? Mei Terumi? Kinda far from Kiri aren't you?" Asked Zabuza out of curiosity, surprised to see the Lava user not participating in the Rebellion.

"Eh. It's a long story. But to sum it up, I was kidnapped and then found myself in the capable hands of Naruto-sama." She replied while pointing at the blonde who merely waved in a polite manner.

"This kid? Well, he did manage to deflect my blade with that weird scythe. Hmm, interesting. I don't recall seeing you in the Bingo book. You must still be a No name Genin. And who else do we have here? Hmm, a pale chick, another one with pink hair. Some brat with a funny looking hair cut. Anko Mitarashi and Kakashi Hatake? No wonder the Demon brothers failed." Spoke the swordsman, though he knew that he was biting off more than he could chew.

Kakashi he could fight easily one on one. Anko involved? He might need Haku's help. But with Mei present, that was a total game changer. No way he could fight all three of them, even with Haku's help.

"Actually, my precious Naruto-kun took out your Demon brothers." The Snake mistress spoke with a large cheeky grin. The swordsman narrowed his eyes slightly at her statement. This kid? He brought the Demon brothers down?

"Interesting. Seems we're at an impasse right now. I don't suppose you'll hand over the Bridge builder all quietly will you?" the Swordsman asked out of curiosity, the sooner this job was done the better. Especially if he didn't have to tango with three highly accomplished Ninjas.

"Dunno. Are you gonna quit working for Gato?" Naruto asked with a small smirk. He was just itching to fight someone like Zabuza for awhile now.

"Can't do that. Even if I wanted to. It seems that we aren't getting anywhere, and since I'm not feeling suicidal, I think I'll take my leave and… try… again… later?" the Swordsman spoke, as he turned to leave he was met with the face of that Naruto kid. Zabuza was both surprised as he was impressed at how a Genin snuck up on him like that.

"Sorry Zabuza-san. But so long as you endanger the client, I'm not letting you go anywhere. Hey everyone! Leave him to me! I can take him!" the blonde yelled down with a large grin.

"DON'T GET COCKY BRAT!" the swordsman yelled drawing a Kunai and thrusting it forward to stab the Jinchuuriki. Naruto merely smirked and dispersed into a murder of crows, their eyes a dark crimson. They cawed angrily as they pecked and clawed at the swordsman mercilessly. 'Damn! Some kind of weird substitution! A summoning maybe?' Zabuza thought as he fended off the crows, but they refused to stop and some were already aiming for his eyes.

A sharp whistle occurred causing the crows to fly off in the direction of the noise. On the ground, overlooking the lake was Naruto himself. The crows flocking around him, one of them perching on his outstretched arm. He petted the perched crow, using the back of his hand to stroke its belly. Then, with another caw, the crows dispersed into wisps of black smoke.

The Swordsman cringed slightly in pain. The wounds he sustained from the crows looked worse than they were, but it still hurt like hell. He ran through some hand-signs and muttered under his breath **"Ninja art: Hidden mist jutsu."**

A thick mist appeared, cut down the ability to see. "Naruto! Are you crazy? Get back here! You can't fight a Jonin!" yelled Sakura from the depths of the mist

"You're really weird Sakura. First you hate me, then you're worried about me? Make up your mind! And don't worry, I'm not the type to take on a task beyond my capabilities." He spoke with a grin, then put his fingers to his lips and let out a short and sharp whistle. When he whistled, the sounds of barking and snarling took place making Kaakshi shiver. He knew those sounds. It was the ones those dogs made, the ones that Naruto summoned during the bell test.

The Black dogs howled incessantly as they hunted for their prey in the mists. "Oi. Zabuza. I'm pretty impressed you can move so stealthily while carrying that big ass sword on your back." Naruto commented as he felt a presence behind him.

"You're not so bad yourself, sending those weird hounds after me to force me out of hiding." The Swordsman spoke as he prepared to cleave the blonde in half. But then he was bisected right down the middle and the two halves fell to the ground with a wet splat, revealing it was only a water clone.

"Nice try Zabuza! But Water clones won't work on me. And don't even think about making a move on Tazuna-san. I have the whole area carefully surrounded by wires." The blonde announced, as the threads spread across the field.

"What the? How did you.." Zabuza called out from the mist. Then he noticed spiders with a skull and crossbones pattern on their abdomens creating a large and complicated network of wires and webbing around the place. Crows then hounds and now Spiders? How many Summons did this kid have?!

"I can make a good web in a hurry, but when I need something bigger and more intricate, my little friends help me out." The blonde replied. Between the webs, and his hounds, he had Zabuza boxed in. It was only a matter of time before he would be found.

Knowing that he had been licked, Zabuza chuckled and called out "You're really good kid. I haven't had this much fun in a long time. I'll call it your victory this time, but next time, I'll be ready for you! For all of you!" with that, the mist slowly dissipated as Zabuza safely retreated.

With that done, Naruto disassembled the network of wires and webbing, allowing his friends and allies, and the two deplorable extras to move freely. "Okay, I take back anything bad I might have said about you kid. That was incredible. You bested a guy like that and barely even moved a finger." Tazuna spoke, clapping the whiskered teen on the shoulder in congratulations.

"Heh. Told you I could take him. Anyway, he'll be back. He was pretty smart in making that tactical retreat. If he made the risk of moving on you, he would've been ensnared and eviscerated just like the Demon brothers. Ah well. He'll be back. And he'll try even harder. I gotta say… I look forward to it." Naruto mused as he seemingly caressed his scythe.

"I'm curious. Why did you only use the Scythe to deflect his blade? Why not use it on Zabuza himself? And… come to think of it… I don't think I've ever seen you use it." Kakashi asked while narrowing his visible eye. An eerie feeling had been coming off the Scythe for awhile now.

"Hmm? Oh this? It was a gift from my boss. Anyway's the reason I don't use it… is because that it has a particularly unique ability." Naruto answered with a smile. Before the Jonin could ask further, Anko decided it was time to get moving while they still had time.

 **Elsewhere.**

Konan, a Key member of the Akatsuki as well as the founding member entered into a bar. Someone had recently contacted the Akatsuki for a job, and was paying an egregious amount of money as well. The amount was more than enough to make one of Kakazu's hearts explode inside of his chest. The odd thing was that this mystery client had asked for Konan, herself, by name.

According to the letter that was sent, She was looking for a woman with 'silver hair that appears to have gold dust in it. And has two different colored eyes. One orange, the other blue.' The bluenette scanned the bar for the client, and spotted someone of such a description sitting in a corner booth at the back.

"Are you the Client? Four-san?" asked Konan in a professional tone. The silvery haired woman smiled, which caused her fangs to become more pronounced as she gestured for the Akatsuki member to have a seat to which Konan nodded.

"Yes. Thank you very much for coming. Can I offer you anything? No strings attached. This place serves a most excellent lobster bisque if you can believe that. Or would you prefer a classic steak? The cook does a most excellent steak, very zesty." Four offered with a kind smile.

"I'm not hungry. Just some wine will do." Replied Konan, grateful that this client was both a woman, and exceptionally courteous.

The client clasped a hand over her generous bust and exclaimed "A woman after my own heart! I love a good glass of wine." She snapped her fingers causing a waiter to hurry over to her, she then ordered a wine that Konan hadn't heard of, nor could she possibly pronounce the name. Four turned back to the Amber eyed woman and asked "Tell me Konan-san. Do you believe in love at first sight?"

The Akatsuki member was somewhat surprised by the random question and the only intelligent reply she could muster was "Excuse me?"

Four chuckled as she answered "My apologies. I'm a bit of a romantic at heart. And I love to occasionally play matchmaker. But please, indulge me. Do you believe in love at first sight?"

Konan bit at her lower lip for a moment before answering with a curt 'No'.

"Ohhh. Too bad. But you might change your tune." The client spoke, her orange eye holding an ethereal glow to it as the waiter from before served a bottle of wine and poured the wine into their glasses before setting the bottle down and departing.

The bluenette cleared her throat and spoke "The job?" she asked trying to get to business as she sipped her wine. The flavor was quite mellow but satisfying.

"Ah. Yes. Of course. There's a certain someone I want you to find for me." The Client spoke as both of her eyes began to glow.

"Who?" Konan asked with a raised eyebrow. Wondering who this woman wanted to be found.

"Naruto Uzumaki." Four replied with an eerie smile.

 **End chapter four.**

 **Omake: The Legend of Konoha's Chupacabra**

It was Carly's final week to be camping out, so far, she had a pretty good time camping in the nude. Her boyfriend would keep her company and check in on her to see how she was doing. But all good things must come to an end, she threw a blanket on her shoulders and began to take the tent down so that she may pack it away. Unknown to her, in the fire pit, the flames hadn't been completely snuffed out.

The blanket brushed past the simmering embers just enough to make the blanket slowly catch fire. She sniffed the air and caught the stench of smoke, turning she yelped as she saw the blanket caught on fire. Her first instinct was to run towards the water and dive on in.

She screamed out as she rsn through the woods, the flame covered blanket like a beacon in the dark. Unknown to her, her screams and the sight of the flames attracted the attention of a certain Jinchuuriki who was currently out training at the time. He yelped in panic at the fearsome sight snd ran off into the night.

And so goes thr Legend of Konoha's Chupacabra.

 **End Omake.**


End file.
